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It’s great to have a close male friend with whom there is no sexual attraction—a guy that can give you insight into the mind of men, help you fend off creeps at bars, and lift that giant couch of yours when it’s time to move. But the line between being a guy’s close girl friend and being his surrogate girlfriend is a thin one, and if you cross it, your friendship can get messy. If a guy sees you as a surrogate girlfriend he might resent when you date other men, and even give up on finding himself a real girlfriend. Why should he? He already gets basically everything he would in a girlfriend from you. And as for the other stuff, well, there’s the Internet for that. Here are signs you’ve become a surrogate girlfriend.

Do you have a lot of male friends? That’s fine! It’s healthy to have friends of the opposite sex. They can give you insight into the mind of man, and they can be adorably protective in a big brother way. But, how do you know when you’ve crossed the line from just caring about each other as friends, friends with their own partners at that, and instead, find yourself having an emotional affair?