9 Comments Hairstylists Make When They’re Low-Key Trying To Play You

July 7, 2017  |  
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Smiling hairdresser and customer in hair salon

In my book, a trip to the salon is second only to visiting your gynecologist on the vulnerability scale. You may think you’re going in for something simple, but sooner or later your stylist is going to tell you about yourself, by telling you any and everything you don’t want to hear about your hair.

The funny thing is the comments/shade/suggestions are always masked as questions, which seem innocent until you actually realize what’s implied. So no, she’s not impressed when she asks, “you did this?” She’s telling you it looks like you did it. Here are other comments/questions that prove your stylist is trying to play you — or whoever else’s hands have been in your head other than hers,  which is still a way of shading your beautician choice.

teen woman with purple afro hair and colorful galsses on a yellow background

“Who did your color?”

The answer is irrelevant, the stylist is letting you know she doesn’t approve and it’s not necessarily because anything’s wrong with the color, you just didn’t come to her for it and now she’s mad.

Mixed race woman getting hair cut

“When’s the last time you got a trim?”

Again, the answer doesn’t matter. The implication is you need one.

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“You sure you just want me to trim it?”

“…’cuz you really need a cut but I’m not trying to have you crying in the middle of my shop floor holding on to two scraggly inches.”

hair stylist braiding woman’s hair, another stylist out of focus on phone in the background, another woman sitting in chair in the background

“You put this in?”

Be it a weave bun, a track bang, or a few braids, the line of delineation between stylist and amateur has been drawn and he/she is not impressed.

2016

“That’s What You Want?”

You could respond with a sarcastic answer like, “No I just showed you this picture I screenshot on my phone for fun,” but considering the vulnerable position you’re in, it’s best to simply nod in the affirmative and not care whether your stylist likes the style or not.

2016

“What you been doing to your hair?”

Unless you’ve experienced some kind of growth spurt, this inquiry is not complimentary in nature. What he/she is really asking is why your hair is so dry/broken in one spot/falling out and you can bet she’s going to follow this question up with the statement on the next page.

Portrait of an african woman thinking with hands in hair

“You need to come here more often.”

They’re basically saying you can’t do your hair on your own and the state of your hair when you do actually get it done requires more work than they care for.

You’re going in your hottest outfit

black woman with afro hair touches her curly hair

“You have a lot of hair!”

The more the better right? Yes, but this is your stylist’s way of saying she didn’t expect it to take so long to do your hair and now she’s probably going to charge you more as a result.

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Why is?…

Whatever follows that why, like why is your hair shorter on one side than the other, why is this part straighter than the other, why is this section cut blunt and not the other, is judgement. Point blank.

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