A Few Things You Don’t Want To Say During A Breakup If You Ever Plan On Being On Good Terms

February 21, 2013  |  
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Breaking up is hard to do and no matter if you’re the dumper or the dumpee, it’s never an easy situation. During a breakup there are all sorts of emotions flying around and with so many different feelings go on, you may find yourself saying something that you don’t mean, or something that is completely stupid. To make sure that your breakup doesn’t become even worse, here are 14 things to avoid saying.

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“It’s not you, it’s me”

This has to be one of the biggest cop out lines of all time. Not only is it cliche, but it’s self-depreciating at the same time. This phrase comes off as being really rehearsed and insincere. If you ever cared or loved this person at some point in time, avoid saying this at all costs, because it never ends in a pretty fashion.

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“I never loved you”

These words hit home hard, even when you aren’t going through a rough breakup. When you tell someone you never loved them and you’re breaking up, it’s likely that you’re only saying it because you’re hurt and semi-upset at yourself that you did love your soon-to-be-ex. There’s no need to start more drama and there’s definitely no point in lying to yourself.

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“Can we still live together?”

If you were in a serious relationship, it’s likely that you two moved in together. Once you two have broken up, there is no need to ask if you can still live with your now ex. Not only will it cause more problems, but at this point in the game, you shouldn’t want to live with the person who just dumped you. Move on, and go stay with your parents or on a friend’s couch until you can find a new home.

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“I love you but I’m not in love with you”

This other overly-cliche phrase that tends to be a cop out. If you’re going to say this in the midst of a breakup, be prepared to explain what you mean exactly, because your ex is bound to ask you. Don’t blame a lack of being “in love” for the decision to end the relationship.

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“I just need some space”

Anytime you bring up the topic of breaking up, you need to be damn sure that this is what you want. During a breakup, it’s not the time to say that you need more space because this only shows that you don’t know what you want. It shows that you’re being extremely vague and that you’re obviously confused.

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“My ex was better at ___”

Now is not the time to bring your ex into the equation. If you’re breaking up because of your ex, that’s a whole other story. Instead of insulting your once significant other and comparing him to someone from the past, keep your cool and understand that hurling harsh words is never a good idea. Remember, you once cared about this person, keep it that way, even if the relationship is ending.

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“Can we just be friends?”

There is nothing worse than breaking up with someone, and asking to be friends after the fact. Right now, the person you just dumped wants absolutely nothing to do with you. Asking to be friends usually ends up in a pretty awkward environment that ends too. Talk about this later on, once the wound isn’t so fresh.

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“It’s just a break”

Know that there’s not a real difference between a break and a full on breakup. Some people like to think that a break will result in the relationship mending and coming back together. But that rarely happens and now isn’t the time to propose the idea that it’s a temporary break and things will be better in a few days.

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“You’ll be sorry!”

When you’re the one getting dumped, you’re bound to feel a lot of anger followed by plenty of sadness. However, one thing you don’t want to blurt out is a threat or talk of revenge. Destructive thoughts are better kept to yourself, even if you know they are true. If you know he will miss you and will regret things later on, take it in stride.

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“I met someone else”

The fact that you’ve met someone else before ending your relationship completely only makes you look bad. If you’ve truly found a new person, keep it to yourself. This will only make the breakup harder for everyone involved, especially the person who is being dumped. Besides, the breakup is about you two, not anyone else.

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“Can I change your mind?”

When someone breaks up with you, it’s likely that they’ve given it plenty of thought and time before making their decision. During a breakup, it’s never a good idea to start begging and pleading for your ex to come back. The decision has been made and even though it’s hard, you’ll have to respect it.

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“We can still be friends with benefits”

A breakup isn’t a wise time to talk about the chance of still being friends with benefits. For most people who were in a decent relationship, being friends with benefits isn’t on their list of “to dos.” While breakup/makeup sex may seem ideal to you, it probably isn’t to the other person.

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“I never wanted to hurt you”

Whether it was your intention or not, the damage has been done here. Not a lot of people go through a breakup without feeling hurt, sad, and a bit depressed. There’s no need to point out the fact that you didn’t mean to do emotional harm, especially when the hurt is inevitable.

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“My parents/friends never liked you

At this point in time, who cares? The relationship was about the two of you, and so is the breakup. At this point by saying this, you’re simply being hurtful. There’s no need to stick the knife any further in than it already is. Leave the rudeness behind.

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  • JM

    How is it not relevant to the dumpee if the dumper found someone else, cheated etc. Not only might this help the dumpee get on with it, and resist any urge to wait/try for reconciliation, but the least the dumper can do (considering about to go off into the sunset with his/her new love footloose and fancy free, while the other person is left to pick up the pieces) is pay the real life price for their actions and fess up! Tell the truth! You deserve to deal with the consequences of your actions/decisions. It will be uncomfortable, but this is nothing absolutely nothing compared to what you are putting your dumpee through in any case.