Did He Really Just Say That? Rude Things Men Don’t Even Realize They Say

January 25, 2013  |  
Shutterstock

Women always think about the subtext of any text they write, of the underlying message of anything they say, and of all the possible ways something could be construed before they open their mouth. Why? Because they know that the woman they are talking to thinks about those things too. It’s a strength in a way, but can also cause problems. Men, on the other hand, pretty much just mean what they say. They’re about getting the truth out and moving forward. They don’t mean any more, or any less, than what they say. But since women are so accustomed to reading into things, some things men say can come off very rude! Like these.

Shutterstock

The comment: “That feels kind of weird…”

So you’re trying something new out on your guy in bed, and he says “That feels kind of weird…” but he doesn’t sugar coat it. There’s no, “Hey, I love when you do this other thing actually” or “Just come up here and kiss me.” Nope—he just tells you, like a kid given a plate of broccoli, “I don’t like that.”

"man in bed pf"

The sentiment

Men can criticize each other for a way they’re behaving in the moment, without taking it as an overall criticism of their character. Ever notice how a woman will become infuriated when a man says, “You’re acting like a Beyotch” and the man will always emphasize, “I said you were acting like one, not that you are one!” Men don’t realize that when they criticize something you’re doing in bed, that you see it as them thinking you’re just no good in bed. But there are probably still plenty of other things that he loves you do in bed.

 

Shutterstock.com

The comment: “Yeah, it does have too much salt”

Women are always criticizing themselves, but don’t necessarily like to be criticized from the outside. So when you say of the meal you just slaved over and fed your man, “I think I put too much salt on it” and he says, “Yeah, it does have too much salt” you’re offended.

Shutterstock

 

The sentiment

When one male friend asks another male friend, “Do I look stupid in this shirt?” the other answers, “Yes” and they both laugh and move forward. Why? Because men get that people mess up sometimes. They focus on the isolated act and how to fix that, without delving into all the other things wrong with the person or event. Also, men don’t ask for advice or opinions they don’t want. They don’t realize that women often ask for advice or opinions they don’t actually want to hear.

"Woman shaving her legs pf"

The comment: “Might be time for a shave…”

It is pretty mortifying when your boyfriend reaches into your panties and says, “Oooh…might be time for a shave…” when you just shaved, or just went in for your waxing.

"Woman with her arms crossed pf"

The sentiment

Men do not understand what women go through, plain and simple. They don’t realize that over-shaving creates ingrown hairs and can increase the chance of bleeding down there, they don’t realize a certain amount of time has to pass between waxes and most importantly they don’t realize how uncomfortable all of those things are! So just keep that in mind: he has no idea what a sensitive topic he’s just touched on.

shutterstock

The comment: “Your friend is a little loud…”

You introduce your boyfriend to a really good friend. On the drive home, you ask him what he thought about her and you get, “She’s nice but she’s a little loud…” And you’re thinking, “How dare he criticize one of my best friends!”

"Group of guys drinking beer pf"

The sentiment

Your boyfriend doesn’t realize you take it as a reflection on yourself when he criticizes your choice in friends. Men compartmentalize their friends: they can have one they play video games with, one they watch football with, and one they talk business with. They don’t really care if the video game player is unfaithful to his girlfriend, or the business guy has no sense of humor. They don’t see their friends as a reflection on themselves as women so often do.

 

Shutterstock

The comment: “No, stop it, I can’t right now”

You’re trying to initiate sex and your boyfriend says, “No, stop it, I can’t right now” actually prying your hands off of him. Even worse, he says it in a tone like you’re a little kid annoying him. A simple and sweet, “Baby I’m so sorry, I have a lot to do right now. But I’d love to do that later…” would have sufficed. Why did he get so upset?

"Sad guy pf"

The sentiment

He’s upset because he wants to please you, and you’re persistence is only reminding him just how much he’s letting you down right now. But, instead of just saying that, he sends his guilt back outwards (because that’s easier) and makes you feel like the bad guy for even asking.

"Couple arguing - PF"

The comment: “I can’t deal with this right now”

You come home from a rough day and want to talk to your man about it. But the second you begin to vent he cuts you off and says, “Baby. I had a rough day myself. I really can’t deal with this right now.” And you’re thinking, “Well that is selfish!”

"Woman and man talking-PF"

The sentiment

There really is no sentiment behind this one. Women are just better emotional multi-taskers! Men do not realize how many times we ourselves are stressed out, when our men come over and need someone to vent to, and need some tender, female nurturing, and we totally put our stresses aside for later and attend to our men. Men just have no idea. It’s in our nature to balance our own and other’s emotional needs at once. It’s not really in a man’s nature. He feels his head will explode when it’s filled with his own problems plus someone else’s. It’s just a way men are flawed and we have to accept it.

Shutterstock

The comment: “Do I have to go?”

You ask your guy to attend your friend’s birthday party with you, or your company holiday party, and he says (like a whiney child), “Do I have to go?” And you’re thinking, “Well gee, thanks for not even feigning enthusiasm…”

group of friends at table

The sentiment

Women and men think in two very different ways when it comes to accompanying one another to events. The woman thinks that it should make her man happy just knowing he’s making her happy by keeping her company. The man thinks, “Does she really want me there if I’m just going to clearly be bored and it’s something she could totally just attend on her own?” See, men aren’t as good at putting on a happy face when they’re not happy. You probably go to plenty of events with him that bore you to death, but you smile and pretend to enjoy yourself. Men don’t have that skill.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • MicheleLloyd

    Now we know why black men don’t date black women.
    Madame Noire., indeed more like Madame nuts

  • gigi

    Stupid waste of space, I couldn’t even finish reading all the way thru.These are the lamest scenarios, who wrote this? Seems very immature -ish.

  • Why are women still being handed any of this garbage? Why are we still expected to care why, when why is another insipid excuse rationalizing and justifying why a man gets to make a woman miserable? Why are we expected to ignore the suspicious convenience and just accept any of this crap? Since when do men let women get away with anything remotely resembling this crap? Just sayin.

  • A man

    Your generalizations are sickening and bland. Not all women think this way, it’s not gender related. So tired of sexist assholes

  • Diso98

    Ugh this article was stupid! I’m a woman, I talk like that and so does my boyfriend- honest and direct. I appreciate it ‘coz I don’t have to then analyse the meaning behind it.

  • Some guy

    All of these are true except the “no stop it I can’t right now”.
    Most of the time it’s sort of “Can’t you SEE how BUSY I am right now?”
    I would also like to point out that most men tend to dislike men that we see similar to ourselves.

  • Get into his hair on slide 3 tho!!!!

  • Alex

    I couldn’t finish this article, the article comes off as something with no real insight into the male mind, It is obviously just superfluous opinions and assumptions that might or might not be based upon this women’s personal experience. Give me an article where men and women weigh in on each subject, that is impartial and not something that comes off as biased and sexist.

  • Dale Sorenson

    there’s Male talk… (grunts)…..and female talk….(squeals)…..I listen and enjoy all the great conversations that turn into a whoooop and hollller conference…life is good. “nuff said!

  • I don’t know, my boyfriend always says EXACTLY what’s on his mind. Whether it’s totally innocuous or totally vulgar. He looks me right in the eye and just says it. I like it. I know what he is feeling and I even encourage it. It doesn’t hurt my feelings at all. He is both the smartest and the most foulmouthed man I ever knew. But somehow it works fine.

  • I don’t know, my boyfriend always says EXACTLY what’s on his mind. Whether it’s totally innocuous or totally vulgar. He looks me right in the eye and just says it. I like it. I know what he is feeling and I even encourage it. It doesn’t hurt my feelings at all. He is both the smartest and the most foulmouthed man I ever knew. But somehow it works fine.

  • DTJ

    at the end of the day women are women, men are men. we are two different beings and we operate differently, think differently, and interpret differently. however, there are women who are like men when it comes to communication (i’m guilty) and there are men who will question and read between every word you say, the way some women do. i walked into work and told mycoworker (male) he looked like isht (he was all tired and groggy) and he didn’t get mad. but my female coworkers were like “how could you say that?!” i wasn’t talking to them…anyway, when it comes to relationships/friendships, establish communication and understanding before you find yourself in the hot seat

  • Babydoll 70

    Okay, I tried to make it through the various pages but it was just silly.

  • JODY

    wowww, and woman wonder why men lie.. I lie cause I care about and don’t wanna hurt your feelings.. If I tell you the truth then that means I don’t give a f&*k..

    • THE RAVENS WILL WIN THE SB!

      Men lie to protect themselves, not women.

      • Belal

        To protect themselves “from” women :-P. Married 13 years, I know what the correct answer to “does this make me look fat” or “does dinner taste ok??”. Men repeat after me, safest words to use when angry at your women (just change the words in your head) but say out loud “yes dear” 😀

    • THE RAVENS WILL WIN THE SB!

      Men lie to protect themselves, not women.

  • GeekMommaRants

    Why not socialize both men and women to understand each other before relationships become an issue. Many cultures teach men about women and women about men. Why can’t we?

  • FB

    That is right….we don’t put on a face and we are direct. I was laughing at the too much salt comment. My wife always ask me if such and such food has too much or too little salt. She always ask for an honest opinion and end up being mad. If I lie because she knows how I look when I don’t like something. On the other hand, she’ll tell me my food is too spicy, I don’t like this spice, or I like m pasta soft. I always ask, would you like me to make you something else and leave at that.