When You’re Done Being Sad: 14 Cathartic Activities To Push You Past Your Breakup Blues
For the most part after a breakup, you’re a big ball of mush. You just want to cry, stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself. And that’s a natural and important part of the healing process. However, there’s a little part of you that’s mad—the ever strong, sassy, “who the h*ll did he think he was?” part of you that needs to get out once in a while! You need to nurture her too, you know? Here’s how.
Finally make fun of all his faults
All those faults you had to justify or find cute about the guy while you were dating so that you could tolerate him…you know you have jokes to make about those. You know you have some cackling you’ve been holding in and some snide remarks you’ve been dying to make to your girlfriends about those flaws but never did out of respect for your man. It’s time to let your sassy flag fly.
Going where he never wanted to go
Get all your friends together and go to the bar or restaurant you love that he never wanted to go to. Order anything and everything you want on the menu. If you go alone, you’ll only be thinking about the fact that this is the place your ex didn’t like. Bring people you enjoy, to enjoy it with! Good friends bring out the best in a restaurant, after all.
Going on a solo road trip
There’s really no time or space to feel everything you have to feel after a breakup, when you’re still in the town where your job is, your family is, your friends are, your life is—tugging at you, wanting things from you all the time. There will come a time for distraction but that is your reward after you let yourself feel all the pain. And going on a solo road trip provides the perfect opportunity for that.
Having dinner at a bar alone
Strangers love to talk about heartbreak—they’ve all been there. Odds are, everybody else eating alone at the bar is looking for a stranger to talk to, too. And since they aren’t your friends, they aren’t up to their ears in your story. They’re the perfect people to vent to. Also, sometimes strangers will get more real with you about their advice and insight on your story, because they know they’ll never see you again! Unlike your friends who may sugar coat things.
Dress completely wild
We all tone down or tailor our fashion for what we think our partner likes. Maybe you didn’t let your totally funky and fashionable items come out of the closet because your partner wouldn’t have understood them. But there’s a piece of you in those items. Bring them out! There’s something rewarding about putting on eccentric items you bought when you were feeling really liberated. It’s like putting on new skin.
Do something that terrifies you
Like sky dive or swimming with sharks or bungee jumping. It will remind you there are scarier things in life than heartbreak! It will make you feel strong. And one thing you certainly won’t feel is lifeless—something so many recently heartbroken do.
Develop a new daily ritual
Like going to a certain coffee shop, or spending an extra thirty minutes at the gym just enjoying the sauna and magazines. Find a ritual that you do all alone, every day. It will feel like a little treat where you make yourself unavailable to the world for an hour or two and just get to clear your head. It will give you something to look forward to each day.
Spend time with someone you’ve neglected
You’ve been so busy concentrating on your own pain that you forgot how much it hurts your mother that you haven’t had lunch with her in a month. One thing that always makes you feel better is making others feel better. Go bond with a long lost friend or relative. You never know; they may have some sorrows of their own they need to talk about.
Develop a new crush
But keep it just at that. Don’t ask him out. Don’t get into lengthy conversations. It can be the guy who works at the coffee shop you’re now frequenting every day. Just flirt a little, and enjoy the idea that he fantasizes about you, and could have all these wonderful notions of who you are. The romance is in the fact he’ll never really know.
Oh yeah, don’t forget that. While your friends are telling you to “cheer up,” don’t forget to let yourself feel miserable! You’ve got a good, long crying session in store for you. It’s inevitable after a breakup. Sit in your car and put on music that pulls at your heartstrings and just let it all out.
Again, giving feels good! And interacting with those who have it much worse off than you will make you feel pretty silly for pitying yourself all day, every day, all because you’re single. Feeding someone on the verge of starvation, or tutoring orphans, will definitely distract you from your own problems.
Set a new goal
If you have something you’re working towards, you’re forced to pull yourself out of your rut, at least once a day, to go to that spin class, or work on that painting, or cook each item from that 365 meals for 365 days cookbook. If you don’t, you’ll feel even worse because you failed yourself.
Watch movies about girls who go through breakups
There’s something that warms the soul about watching a girl crying on a couch, just like you are. There is even a little humor in seeing how similar we all look doing it. And it’s nice to remember you’re not alone—this story has been lived and will be lived time and time again. All those women survived, and so will you.
Go out and buy yourself a new fabulous wardrobe. That way, you have to get out of the house. Those clothes deserve to be seen! It’s also a way of reminding yourself that you’re a gorgeous, desirable creature.