Are You In An Unhealthy Relationship? 15 Weird Signs Indicating That Things Ain’t Right
Sometimes you can’t quite put your finger on what is wrong with your relationship, and for that reason you decide there is nothing wrong. Not necessarily true. Here are 15 strange, subtle and seemingly unrelated signs that your man is toxic for your life.
He spoils you
Every woman deserves to be spoiled occasionally. But if your man constantly showers you with gifts, begins inappropriately early (like after date #2) and spends tons of money on said gifts, he is probably in great fear of losing you. And that’s a lot of pressure to put on a woman. We easily succumb to guilt and we can feel when a man would be devastated by us leaving him, so we often stay in relationships we don’t want to be in.
He “advises” you often
It’s great to have a man that cares about your wellbeing. But, he should believe in your ability to make decisions about such fundamental things as your friendships, your career and your finances. If you’re with a man that constantly advises you to do something completely different than what you were going to, then he could just be trying to control you. He certainly shouldn’t be telling you which friends to have, or what passions to pursue.
You don’t feel happy without sex
Sex gives you the illusion of intimacy and that things are okay. That’s why many of the most toxic couples have the most sex. So if you feel anxious if you go to bed without having sex that means you need something as intense as sex to simply feel connected to your guy on any level. You don’t feel at peace simply watching TV with him.
You’re gaining weight
If you don’t feel nurtured, loved and comforted by your man, you need to get those feelings elsewhere. Often people that binge eat do so because they feel that they are working so hard to keep everything else in their life together, they need to have one thing they completely slack off on. And they let that be their diet.
You’re losing weight
Being in a constant state of stress can override your feelings of hunger. If you are typically a girl with a healthy appetite, and you’re finding yourself not hungry, take stock of what’s happening in your relationship. Regular fighting will make you forget to eat! Or simply a regular feeling that something isn’t quite right will take your appetite away because the nerves in your stomach will overshadow your feelings of hunger.
You feel distant from your friends
Females need to share things. It’s just the way we are built. We get a surge of great-feeling chemicals when we facilitate close friendships via conversation. Talking about our romantic relationships particularly facilitates that feeling of intimacy but if you’re afraid to tell your girlfriends what’s happening in your relationship, you’re missing out on all of that. Your girlfriends have known you longer than your man and know what’s best for you. So if you fear their judgment of your relationship, well, you probably should.
You feel distant from your parents
Any good parent sounds their sirens if their child is unhappy in her relationship. We all shield a few details from our parents but if you’re unable to talk to your parents about your relationship at all, or you have to lie to them about it, you’re keeping your parents from being able to do the one thing they’re here to do: protect you. That will cause some major guilt in you.
You’re not sleeping well
This one seems obvious but sometimes we have a rough time sleeping and don’t take a minute to attribute it to something happening in our lives. We just think we’re “bad sleepers.” But if you don’t have a general feeling of peace, balance and well-being, your brain and body will not relax enough for you to get a good night’s rest. Try taking a break from your partner—go visit a friend, or even make up an excuse to be away from him each night for a week, but mentally tell yourself at the beginning of that week “I won’t see my partner for 7 days” and see how you sleep.
You check your phone often
Are you checking it out of the anticipation of lovey-dovey messages or are you constantly on damage control, never knowing when you’ll need to tend to your boyfriend’s jealousies, demands or insecurities? In general, if a relationship is healthy for your life, you’ll feel secure enough to walk away from the phone and potentially miss a few calls without having to worry about causing a fight.
You’re reading every relationship article
When you feel stable and secure in your relationship, you begin to disregard all those dating advice articles (such as this one). You don’t need words explaining to you how things should or shouldn’t be because your gut tells you things are good. But when you know deep down your relationship is no good, you try to reason your way to stay into it, or get out of it. Either way: you need the words of someone else to explain what is happening to you.
You’re talking to everyone about it
We don’t only talk obsessively about our relationship when we’re happy. In fact, that eventually wears off as the relationship goes on. But when things are turbulent, you talk about your relationship every chance you get. You look for validation or insight from anybody and everybody. Every topic reminds you of your relationship, and you segue into talking about that instead.
You’re dressing bland
You know how we women are: if we’re not happy, we’re not getting out of our sweats! It takes optimism to put all that energy into beautifying ourselves. Typically, when a woman hasn’t been receiving much positive affirmation—whether that be from work, her friends, her family or her boyfriend—she loses the desire to get gussied up.
You or he feels lazy
It’s one thing to slack off a little on your ambitions when a relationship is new and all you want to do is shack up. But losing interest in and energy for your passions entirely is a bad sign. When you’re with the right person, you find new energy and confidence to finally go after your dreams, even the ones you’re most afraid to fail at.
You feel relieved around his friends/family
Do you find yourself pushing to go out with his friends, or go to the family dinner his mom invited the two of you to? This could be because you get to “cheat” in a sense when you’re with other people. You are with your partner but you don’t have to talk to him the entire time. You get to enjoy the buffer of having others around.
You’re together all the time
It’s cute to want to be together all the time. It’s scary to feel you need to be together all the time or else the relationship will fall apart. You should feel comfortable parting ways with your man for a few days to see friends, family and just take some you time. Doing so should not make you feel anxious. If your connection to your man can be weakened by just a few days apart, or you fear he may cheat on you, that’s not a very quality relationship.