15 Ways Your Partner Should, And Should Never, Make You Feel

September 7, 2012  |  
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You can break down every element of your relationship into his annoying habits, your own issues and the details of every single fight but sometimes you can’t figure out exactly what it is about your partner that makes you feel a certain way. And that’s okay. All you really need to know is how he makes you feel. No matter the excuse, rhyme or reason, there are simply some ways a partner should definitely make you feel, and some ways he never should.

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He should not make your job feel unimportant

Never should your partner belittle the importance of your job or make you feel unambitious or lazy for doing it. Even if you haven’t reached your full potential yet or landed your dream job, you’re still a good person paying her bills. And every job is of value to somebody.

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He should make you feel confident to move upward

Your partner should be honest with you and if he recognizes that you could be going after bigger and better things, encourage you to do so. But he should do with positive language, reminding you of your strengths and all that you are capable of, rather than speaking down to you for not doing those things yet.

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He should not make you feel like a flirt

Your partner should not make you feel like you have to watch your every move and word around other men so that he does not get angry, jealous or accuse you of being a flirt. You should be able to enjoy a party, a bar, and life feeling safe in the knowledge that your partner knows you mean well and would never intentionally flirt with another man.

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He should make you feel desired

While jealousy is an awful thing to deal with, so is an aloof partner. An aloof partner, that does not make a woman feel desired, is often what drives a woman to flirt with others. Your partner, while never becoming jealous, should provide you with enough attention, affection and compliments to make you feel desired and that he notices that you are a woman other men will be attracted to.

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He should not make you feel like a child

Everybody has their strengths and their weaknesses, their areas of expertise and the subjects they’re weaker in. Your partner should never make you feel stupid or inexperienced for not knowing certain things, from a matter as small as how to change a tire to how to file your taxes properly.

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He should advise you and want the best for you

Your partner should want you to learn as much as possible so that your quality of life can be enhanced. He should jump at the opportunity to teach you lessons that will be of value to you, but never with a condescending tone or “How do you not know this already?”

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He should not make you feel anxious

If your partner causes you anxiety, then you’re definitely in the wrong relationship. That’s your body reacting to that person and saying, “He’s no good for you!”

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He should make you feel excited

You should feel excited to be around your partner. You should care what impression you make on him and feel giddy, but never to the point that it’s a negative feeling (i.e. anxiety). The alternative of feeling completely calm—or feeling nothing—might be a sign there’s no real chemistry there.

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He should not make you feel depressed

Your partner should not say or do things that make you have a darker vision of the world, or that bring down your moods on a regular basis. He will of course have his slumps sometimes like everybody, but he should approach them with a positive attitude rather than with one of doom because that will seep into your own attitude.

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He should make you feel included

Your partner should share the troubles in his life with you as a manner of being closer. He shouldn’t cover up his problems or constantly use humor to avoid talking about them. To feel of value to him, you need to be confided in and even asked for advice.

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He should not make you feel unattractive

Your partner should never speak negatively about your appearance. He can say that he preferred one dress on you to the other, or even (yes, this is allowed) say that for your health, it may be good for you to lose weight (if things have gotten to that point). But all in all, your partner should be the person that makes you feel instantly flattered simply by looking at you.

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He should allow you to be comfortable

Your partner should be okay with you wearing your less-than-Hot underwear, hanging at the house in sweatpants, skipping makeup and just being comfortable around him. He should naturally be most attracted to you when you are in a more natural state because he gets closer to the real you then.

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He should not make you feel dramatic

Your partner should not make you feel unreasonable or crazy for having certain emotions. He shouldn’t ignore them, disregard them or criticize them.

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He should want to calm you

Your partner should want to calm you, for both of your sakes, when you are having a hyper reaction to something. But he should do so lovingly, and not defensively or angrily. He should want you to be calm so that you can feel happier, not simply so that he doesn’t have to deal with your emotions.

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He should enhance your life, not drain it

What it really comes down to is that you should feel freer, stronger, more competent, safer, calmer, more energized and more positive each day you wake up and take on the world because your partner is in your life. Your partner should be something that gives energy to your life, not takes it.

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