Single Black Male: Defending Your Woman’s Honor In An Age Of Disrespectful Men

August 27th, 2012 - By WisdomIsMisery
ignoring a black man

halloftheblackdragon.com

“Should you defend your woman’s honor?” Yes.

The question is simple; the answer is complex, which is why it comes up all the time. Many of us have had friends, male and female, ask for advice on some variation of the following story, “X disrespectful man did Y and my man failed to do 1,2,3. How should I feel about that? Am I with someone who can’t or won’t defend me?”

Honestly, half the problem is that men and women don’t define disrespect in the same way. If they did, at least 75 percent of these discussions would be null and void. Let’s be clear, if someone disrespects your woman, they are disrespecting you too because you should feel that you are an extended representation of each other. But, if I’m walking down the street with you and some random guy yells, “You have a nice A$$!” Is that a compliment or a diss? Is he being disrespectful or simultaneously complementing her nice A$$ and my taste in nice-A$$ having women? In some major cities, there might even be a bit of confusion around if he is talking about your A$$ or mine. But, I digress.

It is no secret that, generally speaking, men are more disrespectful towards women than ever. Increasingly, the level of disrespect is tolerated, which encourages more disrespect and creates ever-greater disrespectful men. At what point does the disrespect cross the line and need to be addressed?

Is it a comment on Facebook? An off-hand remark on Twitter? Should you attack the first man or woman that, as you perceive it, disrespects your woman as Swizz Beats did last week on Instagram? Whether you agree or disagree with his methods, there is no doubt that Swizz tried to defend his woman’s honor.  However, he was negatively judged for doing so by many online observers. Despite the fact that more women wish men would defend their honor, many did not agree with the way Swizz went about defending his. What did he do wrong?

Is disrespect ‘OK’ as long as it is limited to the confines of the Internet? What happens when these people leave the safety found in e-anonymity and take their disrespect into the real world? Are you only responsible for defending your woman’s honor as opposed to all women’s honor?

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  • Edward

    he had been really rude to her the day she gave him advice as well. i have a 10 year relationship with my fiancee. i met my mate last year. he’s more of a client than a mate. i guess i just dont know how to establish boundaries.

  • Edward

    If a man lets his mates (or even worse, business client) comment on your wife’s body or level of maturity, that is wrong. Sometimes, your friends just have an inferiority complex and when they’re bruised they don’t want to feel like you are Alpha male. So attacking the wifey/fiancee/gf gives them power because they indirectly attack you. In my case, my wife is an intelligent girl that was giving advice to my mate because I told her to. Then my slimy mate decided to make me feel powerless indirectly over lunch the next day. He said my fiancee’s body was not great (indirectly), called her childish and said she wears the pants in the relationship. The poor girl has little or not much control over me, is smarter than me and has a health condition. I saw her later that day whilst speaking to my mates and I failed to acknowledge her presence in front of the guy that disrespected her. I’m lucky if she decides to stay with me.

  • FamuRattler85

    I was in a situation like this 2 years ago. My man’s friends totally disrespected me by calling me all types of names on twitter (like, really? grow up) because they think I’m some kind of “player” (which I’m not). These accusations were coming from guys who committed the same acts they accused me of. Anywho, my man decided that “he wasn’t in it” (he put that on twitter too) when him opening his mouth and letting his he-man woman hating friends in on the inter-workings of our relationship (after I specifically told him not too because I saw all of this coming) was what triggered this whole blow up in the first place. I let him know how his removing himself from the situation affected me and he was VERY apologetic so I forgave him and gave it another try. Soon thereafter, he did it again so I broke up with him because obviously, staying cool with his friends was more important to him than I was. Anyway, I say all of that to say this, YES, a man should defend the honor of his woman. If he doesn’t, in my mind, he isn’t mature enough to participate in a mature relationship and needs to be let go. There’s no room for fence straddlers in a relationship.

  • Nope

    For me, it used to depend on the situation and the woman. Some women are notorious for starting or egging ish on, and then usually looking to get Maled Out.

  • hiswomanandlovingit

    I do understand the purpose of this article but the incident where the man beat two women in a McDonald’s shouldn’t be here. That wasn’t a case of a man being disrespectful it was a case of a man defending himself. The two women cursed him, slapped him and when he tried to remove himself from the area (he was at work) the women chased him down and they got what they were looking for. All people focus on is that it was a man who hit two women but no one want to think that a person, man or woman should sit down and take a beat from ANY ONE because society tells you to.