I am a survivor of Domestic Violence. In a totally separate relationship that I have had off an on for the past 14 years (yep started in 8th grade) with a man who has never raised his voice at me not to mention a finger or a hand, has domestic violence situations on the regular with his childrens mother. Why is it different between me and her, that I do not know and won’t even try to explain, however I can say that we are close to this day and in 14 years has never put his hands on me or gave any inclination that he would. Would I be in a relationship with him one day (I’m in a great one now that’s headed down the aisle so in essence no) but in reality if this didn’t work out I would be with him because he has provided and taken care of me even while we’re both in other relationships, were great friends.

Reading throughout these comments everybody seem to leave out the aggressive nature of these “so called abuse women” towards their men. I personally saw women on more than one occasion hitting men with shoes,kicking them on the streets of NYC,people gather around like it some type show laughing making jokes. When those men protect themselve from these same women they run and call the police crying “oh he hit me! how dear you hit a woman?”.Me personally if anyone (man/woman) hit me and I feel my body/life is in danger I’m going lay you out.
Side Note:
From my observation some Black American women are very aggressive, vocal women and some time they can overstep their boundaries.Do their bad behaviors warrant a man beating them bloody?NO..Keep your hands to yourselves ladies and no man would bust your head open.

I really think that some men that become violent, not all, but some, are provoked. Many women will run in a guy’s face pointing fingers, cussing, and whatever else, then expect that he not get upset also. I’ve known men who will tell the woman to move out of his face, and try to leave, but she doesn’t know when to stop. At the end, she ends up getting slapped or pushed out of the way. Women need to also know when to quit, and take responsibility for their actions int he situation as well. It doesn’t matter how angry you get, if you, as a woman, don’t have self control, you can’t expect someone else to have self control…On the other hand, if he’s just around here beating on women to prove he’s a “man”, then he needs a serious intervention before trying to be with another woman.

Knowingly? No. But, some people think it’s OK for a woman to hit a man, and that he should just accept it because she’s “the weaker sex”. If a man hit her first, then yeah, I’d say pick up whatever is closest and lay him out. But, to put your hands on someone just because they ticked you off and think there should be no consequence for it is delusional. And, there’s no defense for head-butting a woman unless she has your hands and feet bound, and is beating you. I don’t feel all of these cases are comparable to one another.
Here’s a real case of abuse, but I hadn’t recognized what I was seeing until I grew older: When I went to my high school senior prom, my boyfriend and I double-dated with a girl I’d known since third grade. Her brother and my boyfriend were best friends. As we waited for her to finish getting ready, we sat at the dining room table conversing with her parents and brother. We were all seated except for her mother, who remained standing, but joined in the conversation occasionally. I don’t remember what the conversation was about but it was nothing serious. Shortly afterward, the girl’s father turned and glared at his wife after she spoke. Initially, it didn’t occur to me that he was doing that. The next time she spoke, all of a sudden, the father shouted, “Shut up!” The mother closed her mouth immediately. I sat there wondering what had just happened, because she hadn’t said anything wrong. She was only participating in the conversation. It got quiet for a few seconds, then the guys resumed the conversation like nothing had happened. I was still trying to figure out what was going on. She didn’t say another word during the time we were there. I didn’t understand what I had seen until years later, when I learned that the girl’s brother was kicking his girlfriend’s behind. Then I began putting it all together. I remembered a time in third grade, when the girl’s mother had gone to her home state, and was gone for months, almost the entire school year. It didn’t seem like she was going to come back. As an adult, I came to understand that she was trying to leave that man, but he probably wouldn’t let her have her children. This is a real case of abuse, where a crazy man got angry only because his wife was participating in a conversation in her own home. Had she not shut up, he probably would have gotten up and struck the woman in front of us. But in other cases, regardless of sex, people should expect that if they hit first, they may get hit back. It’s insane that someone can be the aggressor, then resort to being a victim after losing the fight.
When I went to my high school senior prom, my boyfriend and I double-dated with a girl I’d known since third grade. Her brother and my boyfriend were best friends. As we waited for her to finish getting ready, we sat at the dining room table conversing with her parents and brother. We were all seated except for her mother, who remained standing, but joined in the conversation occasionally. I don’t remember what the conversation was about but it was nothing serious. Shortly afterward, the girl’s father turned and glared at his wife after she spoke. Initially, it didn’t occur to me that he was doing that. The next time she spoke, all of a sudden, the father shouted, “Shut up!” The mother closed her mouth immediately. I sat there wondering what had just happened, because she hadn’t said anything wrong. She was only participating in the conversation. It got quiet for a few seconds, then the guys resumed the conversation like nothing had happened. I was still trying to figure out what was going on. She didn’t say another word during the time we were there. I didn’t understand what I had seen until years later, when I learned that the girl’s brother was kicking his girlfriend’s behind. Then I began putting it all together. I remembered a time in third grade, when the girl’s mother had gone to her home state, and was gone for months, almost the entire school year. It didn’t seem like she was going to come back. As an adult, I came to understand that she was trying to leave that man, but he probably wouldn’t let her have her children. This is a real case of abuse, where a crazy man got angry only because his wife was participating in a conversation in her own home. Had she not shut up, he probably would have gotten up and struck the woman in front of us. But in other cases, regardless of sex, people should expect that if they hit first, they may get hit back. It’s insane that someone can be the aggressor, then resort to being a victim after losing the fight.

I personally wouldn’t and this is coming from “vicarious” experience.