When Did “Candy Rain” Become Old School??? How I Realized I Was Getting Too Old For The Club

July 31, 2012  |  

A friend of mine asked me if I was coming to this party. It’s some sort of punk party with some kinky reggae music thing happening. I have no idea what that means by the way. However, a friend is DJing and he assures me that I will have a good time. I’m like, yeah okay, I’ll go…

But I can’t lie; I am very hesitant about going. In my head, I riddled with questions such as what the dress will be like. Do I have to buy a new outfit? I hope not because my mortgage is due and I already reached my personal allocated “free spending” dollars when I purchased a food vacuum sealer last week. Yeah, that was kind of my splurge for the month. Will there be enough seats in this establishment? If so, I’ll wear heels. What about my errands and chores around the house that I usually reserve for Saturdays? I still have to go grocery shopping, do Zumba, wash some clothes and finally get around to dusting and vacuuming (not food but actual carpet).  Will I be done early enough to have a power nap before going out or will I have to wing it? How much is parking? Parking is not cheap nowadays. I once spent $20 whole bucks for two hours of parking at dinner down South Street. What about Sunday? I had plans to go to the park in the morning. Plus, I still have to prepare for work on Monday. Will I have the energy to do that after a night of bumping and grinding?

Well, according to author of this hilariously-written article, “For 80s Babies: The 7 C’s of People Too Old For The Club Scene,” complaining, calculating and contemplating are all signs that I just might be too old for the club circuit. The author might have a point; it’s only Tuesday and I’m stressing and pre-planning all the particulars of a party, which doesn’t even kick off until Saturday night.

The last time I was in a club, it was on a Saturday night, about a year and a half ago. The music was bumping, the drinks were flowing and the bodies were swaying.  I’m with my bestie, a girl I had known since we began high school in 1992– 1992 I said! Anyway, we are on the dance floor, “white girl wasted” off of Long Island Ice Teas, two stepping and such with two dudes, when the DJ cuts gets on the mic and says, “aiiiiight, we ’bout to get it in tonight.” With a few scratches of his turntable, “Candy Rain” by Soul for Real began to boom out of the speakers. Everyone got hype. The whole club collectively threw our arms up in the air while simultaneously singing, “Candy-coated raaaaaiiin drops…”  The DJ gets on the mic again, “Yeah we taking it back to the old school on this jawn.” Err…record scratch. Old school? What the heck is he talking about?

Now I know the song is old, but in my mind, old school is Maze featuring Frankie Beverly, James Brown and Michael Jackson when he had all his original features. I mean, “Candy Rain” just came out…Oh. My. God. Wait, that song is 17 years old???

Let’s put that in perspective, in 1995, I was a wide-eyed high school graduate, preparing for my first year at Virginia Union University; Bill Clinton was in the middle of his first term as president; O.J. Simpson was tried and eventually acquitted of murder charges of his ex-wife and her friend; Boyz II Men had swept both the Soul Train and the American Music Awards; Timothy McVeigh would carry out the Oklahoma City attacks; NBC aired the final broadcast of “Empty Nest”; We thought that brothers were going to work it out at the Million Man March, the average cost of gas was only $1.15; and finally, the high school senior kid is a year younger than the song “Candy Rain.”

Not to mention all of the history that has occurred within those 17 years since the song came out. For a brief moment I felt kind of weird. Like I had infiltrated a time and space, which I no longer belong too. Even the two dudes we were dancing with had faces that were so pubescent that I thought for sure that Chris Hansen was going to walk out from the shadows of the club and ask me to have a seat. I was almost ready to go, but the DJ, who once again made a proclamation about his reverence to the old school, dropped the Brownstone classic, “If You Love Me?” And just like that, we were back to bumping and grinding with the young boys again. Did I mention we were wasted?

Like most old heads, my girlfriend and I left the club early. As we walked down South Street, I confided in her my awkwardness about hanging out in the clubs. “Girl, I noticed that as soon as I got out the car. Look around, we are probably the oldest chicks out here tonight,” she said matter of factly.  “But gurl I ain’t worried about how old we are. As far as I’m concerned, we still look young and good. So whateva…on another note, my feet hurt. Why I wear these shoes?” she concluded while leaning on my shoulder. She did have a point, including about those shoes.

More or less, I have outgrown the club scene, which is all the indication I need to know that I am probably too old for the club. At the cusp of turning 35 years old, I have come to appreciate more low-key activities including going to the theater to watch a good play, attending book and panel discussions, going to a friend’s house for intimate dinners or just sitting at home, watching films on Netflix. However, I would be lying if I didn’t say that once and a while, I crave the dank, obnoxiously loud, smoke-filled atmosphere of a night club. Basically, I still want to go out, cut loose and dance the night away to my heart’s content–or until my feet hurt, whatever comes first.  And why I shouldn’t I?

Oh that’s right, because nobody want to become the old-head at the club. So where does an old-head like I go to really let loose? I feel too old for the clubs and too young to do The Wobble at the B.Y.O.B Cabarets. Thoughts?

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  • frankjum12

    As with anything in life this is all relative.
    For example:
    Is it a place (night) where most of the patrons are clearly younger than you? If so, don’t go…your ears will be bleeding after a half-hour.
    Is it a invitation event merely located inside of a club? If so, you might wanna check it out.
    Are you out-of-town or on vacation and looking for something to do late at night? By all means, go!!! Even if just to laugh at the lame scene there.
    Is it a money-making opportunity for you (networking-styled event)? By all means, go!!! You never know who you can connect with.
    Is it a theme-related event (here in Chicago there are specific artist or era themed parties geared toward older crowds? By all means go!!! Especially if you are a fan of the artist.

    No matter what age clubbing has always really been a hit-or-miss game. Still if you do an honest inventory of what you want and what’s out there for you then you’ll have a good time. I myself don’t really consider what others think too much…if you think I’m too ____ to be anywhere it’s entirely your problem.

    • frankjum12

      Oops I forgot one:
      Is it a promotional event located at a club? DROP WHATEVER ELSE YOU’RE DOING AND GO!!!

      • Vandellish

        I think you meant sponsored events…yes those are must-attenders!!!
        Free liquor, prizes and gorgeous women everywhere!!!!

  • Injynqbs

    Lol. I’m 27, no children (and well up until about a week ago single and I forgot that changed just how much “fun” i could have at the club lol) and I just love to have a good time, dance, hob knob and get my drink on. Whats worse I’m reading this after putting my feet up from last night–See, I wore these heels… I’m just a nightlife kind of person. Anyway, I see the cougars and old dudes out gettin their drink on and at first I’m like “oh” but hey if you can get down have a good time. On the other hand yes I wonder “who’s child is this and how did they get in here?” young faces but it too is whatever. Everybody needs a comfortable place to unwind (including those that you listed at the bottom)! Plus as the years roll on I have less and less girlfriends to share this with as they begin their own families and such.

  • Dcarter910

    I am 28 and I feel like that now. The music these days is horrible, the men dont dance they just stand there while the females grind on them and when sitting at the bar the women look at me like I am crazy because I try to strike up a “real” conversation. I am done with the club, I like a nice lounge with a live band and some decent food. The only thing is, I only run into older women at these establishments….good thing I like older women 🙂

  • sammi_lu

    Lounges..spots w/ live bands.

  • Anon

    Go to a lounge…..

    • Chanda

      That sounds like a great idea. I’ve never been much of a club goer but that doesn’t mean I want to stay up in the house all the time either.

  • Nope

    Most YOUNG women also don’t complain about the club scene because they still have a place there. How many club fliers do you see with some 35+ year old woman on it? Clubs make there money from having it filled with YOUNG women and the men, young AND old, that want to see YOUNG women.

  • I am a fan of the lounge… good music, room to dance and plenty of seating!

    • toya

      Amen to that girl!!

  • Realgirl

    I feel the same way. At 32 I am too young for “Old School” too old for “New School.” It’s almost like we are the forgotten age! I am working now on putting some things in place in my city to cater to my generation.

    • JLHsays

      Amen to that!!!

  • Missy45

    There are venues for the “Mature Adult” 40 and over….You just have to find them. I’m 45 and have never been a club goer, In my humble opinion after 40 something, one does need to “stay in their lane” and attend more age appropriate functions, but people nowadays are out of control and the older folks are more scandalous then some of the young ones…smh..lol

    • I was about to say the same thing. Chicago stepper here and I’ve seen stepper sets for up 40 years old and over. Shoot, I’ve seen 60 year-old men in 3-piece suits and alligator shoes getting their step on with 30 and 40 year-old women. It ain’t about “getting some tonight” or “trying to find a man.” Its more about dancing and just having fun.

    • Tonia

      I am 43 and on rare occasions, after a long week at work, I want to go out with the hubby and hear music and cut a rug or 2. Unfortunately, I live in a city that doesn’t have a scene for the over 40s. Either the clubs are waaaaaay too young or its a “fish fry” joint for waaaay older people. I loved the last line of the article.

  • sabrina

    I finally turned of age to enter the club last December, and I already feel like I’m over it. I’m tired of dancing with these unknown, sometimes pervy guys, drunk folks spilling their drinks all over the place, pushing back rude people who’s beasting through the crowd, creepy old guys trying to give you the eye, sweating my hair out and looking like a hot sweaty mess at the end of the night. Feel free to swap places with me anytime.

  • Truedat

    l can’t lie I am 49 and If I told you I was 35 you would believe me. I can still get down with the best of them! I often wonder when I will get this club urge out of me but until then I will party like its 1999! On another note I do stick to the grown n Sexay crowd.lol

  • GREAT READ!! SWEAR THAT WAS ME THIS PAST WEEKEND!!!

  • KSocial

    Nothing wrong with going out even if you are well into your sixties. I find that this is a black person mentality. White people seem to go out and find activities within their age group. They always find ways to have fun at any age. Look at the Golden Girls. I remember taking a skating class in my twenties and was surprised that the veteran skaters were white people in their seventies and eighties. They were in wonderful shape and had very active social and dating lives just like people in their twenties. I thought it was a beautiful thing. You can go to any activity that you want to go to at any age as long as you make sure the crowd is age appropriate. Meaning you will want to find activities that cater to your age group and trust me, depending on where you live, (I’m in Chicago), they will be plentiful. The days of old hens are gone unless this is something you desire.

    • KIR12

      Sorry, nothing more pathetic and worst than an over 35 year old in the club looking for some new d1yck. Especially, if she use to be a banger. You know the one that all the men wanted. She can’t handle that the men now want the young chicks who have an asz and t!+s like she use to have. She should have picked a husband while she was in her 20’s when she had many options but she liked and became addicted to (new) mr. goodbar. Now, she’s older, put on weight, face shows age and if she had a lot of men vjay is loose, has too many miles and looks like it’s been through a meat grinder. No thanks.

      • Chanda

        Speak for yourself. This is what happens when a 35+ woman lets herself go. Some look great some look like sh!t but we can’t generalize based on your bad experiences. It’s all in how she carries herself. And not all 35+ have loose worn out vaginas. What if she hasn’t had many partners, no kids and breasts are still firm. To each it’s own I guess.
        Then you have women in their 20s who have put on a lot weight (from having 4 babies) fat faces, stomachs down to their knees, already looking worn out and this is before her 25th birthday. Now she’s sitting up in house (or at the club) with a bunch of kids and no husband. This is not to diss all women in their 20s but it happens. Some of them aren’t as fresh as a daisy so only certain men will hit on them but then what does that say about them?

        • KIR12

          When did you start partying at 18? That means you been clubbing for almost 20 years, hun. You’re hooked on the rush from the admiration and attention of men and your addicted to new d1yck. That comes from insecurity and immaturity. Trust me you don’t look as good as you did when you were 25 and you don’t have more and better options than you did when you were 25. Get a clue. There are always exceptions to the rule but your your admiration expiration date is quickly approaching.

      • $136878

        You are a such a misogynistic fool. I don’t even know where to start with this drivel..
        I’ll just say that you have to be effin’ stupid to think that having sex changes the shape of labia. The shape of a womans labia is encoded in their DNA. All labia look different, and the amount and frequency of sex does not change your DNA. The only thing that will make your labia look different is age and surgery or maybe some kind of ‘self-stretching’ like some men do to regain their foreskin. Not to mention that the vagina isn’t like an old pair of jeans that gets stretched out each time its worn. It’s designed by nature to accommodate penises. It goes back to how it was before sex shortly thereafter, the same way that (pardon my analogy) your anus does after you defecate. It doesn’t just get wider and wider. A penis cannot ‘destroy’ a vagina unless it is being wielded as a violet weapon.
        I really wish ignorant men (and women) would stop saying stupid things about vaginas and labia, although judging by the fact that you can’t even use the correct terms for these body parts I wouldn’t expect you know anything about them. Women shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed that their labia might ‘look’ worn out. Labia isn’t ‘beautiful’ but neither is your genitals. So stop it please. Stop with the stupidity.

        • KIR12

          Who told you that…did you read it in a book? lol The size of men and women is genetics that’s correct. Some women are very tight some are lose. Some men are very big some are small. Most men and women are average. Do you think a p0rn stars size and the labia is the same as it was before she became sexually active your nuts. Same with women with a lot of partners or a lot of toys.

      • KIR12

        They erased my very respectful comment. “shrugz”

      • KIR12

        Come ladies!!! How are you all going to erase my comment simply because you disagree? abbreviated repost.

        Who told you that…did you read it in a book? lol The size of men and women is genetics that’s correct. Some women are very tight some are lose. Some men are very big some are small. Most men and women are average. Do you think a p*#n stars size and the labia is the same as it was before she became sexually active? Really!?!! Same with women with a lot of partners or a lot of toys.

        • dddooonnnttt

          Like I said. Sexist, ‘slut-shaming’ drivel. You should talk to your doctor, because you have a lot of learning to do about your body.

          • KIR12

            What am I incorrect on? Doctors don’t know everything. Did you know that? Your vagina will not stay the same size nor look the same if you’ve had a lot of partners or stick a lot of toys inside of vagina. Sorry, it’s the truth better take care of it. Go look at some p#&n and see it with your on eyes if you can’t believe the word of a black man.

            • Val

              @KIR12:disqus, you are an idiot, comparing 20 partners in 2 years vs. 2 partners in 2 years…what about women who are in a steady relationship for 2 years and have sex every day? Your default scenario is that people only sleep with someone once or a couple a few times, because that is clearly what you only ever do. And you think that those women have “too many miles?” What a hypocrite, you man-whore.

              • KIR12

                Yawn…… see comment to @dddooonnnttt

        • dddooonnnttt

          Who told me that? No one had to tell me. I’ve owned a vagina and labia my whole life. Other (educated, sensical) women know this as well.

          • KIR12

            lol, you think your vagina is going to start the same size and look the same after you’ve had 20 partners in the last 2 years vs 2 partners the last 2 years? Ok, lol Women just can’t do the same things as men. We’re built differently. You need to understand and respect that and stop trying to be politically correct and tell the truth. Go look at the vaginas of some of these women in p#&n. A blind man can tell she’s had a lot of partners. lol No sense in beating a dead horse we’ll have to agree to disagree.

            • dddooonnnttt

              No. We’re not going to agree to disagree. You’re just a moron. I blink my eyes 2000 times a day, the muscles don’t get loose. I use every muscle in my body daily, and yes they age with time, but they don’t get loose from use. You think a lil 10 minute sex session is going to do something to a vagina? You men really think ya’ll be doing something, and you’re not.. It’s a muscle. It can grow weaker over time, but it can also be made firmer with exercise.
              You make your sexist, shaming motive clear when you use an example of sleeping with 20 men in 2 years vs. 2 men in 2 years. How would the number of men, and not the frequency be the determining factor for lose of vaginal elasticity?
              Instead of telling em about vaginas, when I have one… why don’t you ask a man who’s had sex with the same woman everyday for 20 years, dummy.

              • KIR12

                lol, ok hun. Wow, you’re really getting rude and personal. Obviously, your vagina is worn out and lose. Otherwise, you’d be able to have an adult debate, disagreement. Women who have very tight vaginas and very lose vaginas know it. Their partners have told them. We know what men are saying to you. “Not a good fit” lol And we know what you’ve never heard “D@m you’ve got a tight p()$$y. lmao

                Yeah, if she’s got a brother with a king kong d1yck. He’s going to”beat it up” no doubt. If he has an average size d1yck which most men have and she doesn’t have a lot of different partners doing back flips in her. I stand by my comment. No sense in trying to parse words to prove a point. There are always exceptions. I see you refuse to comment on p#&n stars vaginas. lol Ok, find three men who have experience. In a direct or roundabout way they’re going to say what I’ve said.

  • realadulttalk

    I’ve felt too old to be in a club since I was 25…I didn’t feel I was there for the same reason as my counterparts. I went to have a good time…most were there for their next conquest.

    • Gimmeabreak78

      Amen to that! Most of the time,

    • Toya Sharee

      I was never that teen who couldn’t wait until I was 18 years old to get to the club and flash my vertical ID. I realized at a young age that the club is naturally annoying depending on the type of mood you’re in. I am the oldest out of my group and as I approach my late 20’s, I am trying to transition myself out of the whole “club” scene and into the lounge type of scene. I am noticing that I need an activity when going out now to keep me interested. Whether it’s hookah or someone performing, the latest Rihanna song, a cranberry and vodka and laughing at people who can’t Dougie to save their lives, simply doesn’t cut it anymore. Also, I do enjoy the club from time to time, but I’m noticing it’s not something I can do EVERY weekend. In fact, it’s not something anyone should do EVERY weekend. And if you are searching for your life partner in the club, do not pass GO, do not collect $200. That’s what church is for (just kidding)

  • You know your old when your at the store and all you can say is “somebody needs to beat that kids azz, he lucky i aint his momma”…lol

  • Aparty23

    Who says you can’t dance the night away. Even though I feel the club is for single people under 35, on Friday nights at a lot of mainstream clubs have a more mature crowd and music. Also look for “grown folks” events as well. On Saturday night forget it. Let the youth have their time. Lounges in general are more laid back and mature as well. You won’t feel left out at all. But once your 40, the club life should be over completely.

  • Nope

    You almost never hear this from men because we have a much longer shelf life. And because younger women are attracted to older men, and vice versa which women are okay with until they’re no longer young.

    • realadulttalk

      You think that??? I recall many times in my club days wishing the old man would go home and handle his grown man business. Attracted to older men = attracted to the fact that you might have something worthwhile going on in your life (read financially sound). Please do not delude yourself…men might FEEL that they aren’t making an arse of themselves by being too old to be somewhere…the looks and smiles aren’t interest…they are mockery.

      • Nope

        Older men are still at the club for one reason….. because it’s working for them.

        • Merriegirl

          Or they can’t take a hint.

          • realadulttalk

            You took the words right outta my mouth!!!!!

          • Nope

            Somebody’s sleeping with them.

            • Merriegirl

              Just because they are lurking in the club does not mean that anyone is having sex with them. If you are a middle aged man in the club, you are shaky.

            • dddooonnnttt

              That would be the alcohols fault.

        • realadulttalk

          If it was working for them…they wouldn’t be old and in the club!!!

      • LOL!! True!!

      • Nope

        And when I say “old” man, I’m talking 35, not cat daddy guys at the club in gators. A 35 year old man will still get enough play at the club to want to come back. But a lot of 35 year old women would get their feelings hurt from lack of play, and never come back.

    • Nisha

      Y’all have a much longer “shelf life”??? Please….you still look like old men in the club….yep single and lonely like every other thirsty lookin’ older person in the club. Please don’t continue to delude yourselves…you look just as desperate.
      And I’m 43 and if I want to go to the club every now and then, that’s my business…I will be bringing the hubby so we can dance our a**es off…remember we come from the era where people used to really dance and have fun!

    • Like Mike Epps says their the old men who have minivans with a cooler in the back telling the girl to pick which soda she likes.

    • dddooonnnttt

      No, you don’t have a longer ‘shelf life’. You just don’t know when to hang it up.

      • Kewlcat

        I think that is mean and ageist. I don’t know who made up the rule that once you hit a certain age you’re not allowed to go out and have fun. you don’t turn into a monster over the age 40. But that’s young people for you – act like they ain’t never gonna age. Some people just like to go out, hear music, dance. Didn’t think there was a shelf life on that. Don’t think its up to you or anyone else to tell them to hang it up. Get over yourself.