Making The Grade: Do You Test Men?

July 29, 2012 ‐ By Brooke Dean

I usually pride myself on being a straight forward person who isn’t into playing games. And while I like to think that I’m a good judge of character when it comes to the opposite sex, most men would argue that universally, all women do the same thing when it comes to getting to know a man and dating – the “test.”

I rejected this idea at first, because after all, not ALL of us put men through the wringer when trying to determine if he’s a potential boo or not. But then I started thinking that maybe it’s something we do subconsciously…an innate, primal instinct that dates back to the stone age where women wanted to procreate with only the strongest of the species. After all, who wants to have a child with a weak man? Putting a man through a series of “tests” is our way of knowing if the man that we’re thinking of as a potential mate is strong, confident and capable enough to “handle” us, take care of us and provide for his family. Besides, we can’t just take his word for it right?

While most women can argue that we don’t need a man to take care of us or our children anymore in 2012, the instinct to test a man may still lie within us, even if we’re not aware of it. Some women test men out of insecurity or fear of rejection…so that if he fails our “tests,” we can reject him before he rejects us. Some women test men just because they get a kick out of it and want to play games. Whatever the reason, this could be a good thing when selecting a mate, or it could blow up and backfire in your face. If you’re unsure if you test men, or if you do it for the right reason, take a look at some of these tests to see if they help…or hurt you in the long run.

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  • Aaron T. Starks

    Another piece of advice ladies: You can never and I mean NEVER surmise how much money a man has or makes base on what kind of car he drives. There are a bunch of broke fools out there driving BMWs and Lexuses and well off guys driving a Chevy or a hybrid (smart with their money). Just sayin’….

    • Erin

      True that.

  • Aaron T. Starks

    Prince said it back in ’86, “Women, not girls, rule my world.” These types of silly games are played by the insecure and the immature. My tolerance for such nonsense is extremely low.

  • IJS

    Many women who test guys like this are like flea markets that require a credit application and a background check – not even worth the trouble lol!

  • Serena

    Very interesting article. I do feel that women test men a lot and sometimes the good guys are so over tested that they throw their hands up. This sentence is a damned if you do and damned if you don’t and is so real! “Because if he doesn’t let us have our way, he’s a jerk and doesn’t love us. But if he’s “too nice” and gives in to our rants, he’s a punk and a pushover, and no woman wants a man she can walk all over.” There is a way to get to know someone without putting them through all of these crazy tests. Thanks for putting it out there. As a woman I appreciated the read and I’m sure men who read this will feel the same.

  • G

    wow Women can be manipulative. I find these extremely condescending to men like are we supposed to jump through hoops and be pulled around to gain your approval. I was liking this article when it was talking about the liar test but the rest of these tests are just manipulative and if your man catches wind of what your doing he will split

    • sweettea

      Everybody tests everybody all the time. What matters is finding someone who wants to jump through hoops for you and that you want to jump through hoops for

  • Bagay Bon

    As a man, I have plenty of sh*t test. One of them is about how far my girl accepts to go with me in bed. Another one is how does she deal with my sh*t.
    If she’s one of those girls who likes to let her girlfriends smell all of her man’s sh*t, she’s not the girl for me.
    The sex part is just curiosity. I don’t know what I’m looking there.

  • Injynqbs

    I haven’t done these types of tests but more of the “can you really handle me types” in the past. So funny though and I guess karma is real cause I’ve met/been seeing a really good man and I feel like he’s testing me!–Not on the BS but if I’ve got what it takes to step up and in turn be a good woman. I like it though–I needed it. lol

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