From a Male Perspective: Should You Keep Photos of Your Ex?

July 3, 2012  |  

Mutual breakups are as rare as natural black diamonds of Brazil. In most cases, one person is the frigid heartbreaker, while the other warmly laments over the broken union and the good times.  Certainly, there are individuals who have no problems with leaving the worn baggage of their previous relationships behind and upgrading to someone who will really love, cherish, encourage, respect and potentially walk down the aisle with them.

Conversely, there are some people who simply don’t want to let go of their ex-lover and would welcome the opportunity to remain friends, although there would likely be more pain and shattered promises that fill the earthly canvas like glass.  It is not atypical for such individuals to keep memories of their past lover around their homes, on their smartphones and social media pages and even nostalgically ponder what they once had.  Now, there are many things that you can do at the same damn time, but being in love with your new admirer while holding on to the unnecessary chains of your previous relationship can lead to disaster.

Is it okay to keep photographs of your ex-boyfriend when your love is under new management?  If you ask me, absolutely not!  Throw them away!

Several proponents have concurred that there is nothing wrong with retaining snapshots of ex-boyfriends. They believe that it is all about trust, and their new “boo” shouldn’t feel jealous or threatened if he is confident. And also, who has time to go through old photo albums (online and old-school) to weed out photos of past flames? Those are fair opinions.

Look, there aren’t too many men who would be cool with flipping through your iPhone or Droid and discovering that you have stored pictures, especially naked or half-naked photos of your ex-boyfriend.  If your new man is really putting everything that he can into the relationship–emotionally, spiritually, financially, and mentally–and you still have electronic and hard copy images of your last “boo” hanging around your home, there is a really good chance that he would be hurt. Although certain men would not admit that they would be insecure or torn inside by things of this nature, they just might be.

Let’s be real, how would you feel if the tables were turned?  Would you be fine with finding the “dime” that he used to date in his cellular phone?  Would you maintain your cool if you found explicit photos of his beautiful ex-lover in his bedroom, especially one from a past long-term relationship?

If you are really over your ex-boyfriend, do you need to see a picture of him every day or on a consistent basis, especially when you are in a new, serious relationship? And if you don’t look at them, do you need them at all? To cover all grounds, there are certain situations where photos may include shared children, which would be acceptable to most gentlemen to keep in the children’s room. And group photos with friends or family just might be fair game too. But if this is not the case, then it is essential to achieve closure on intimate relationships of the past to ensure that your new path is full of blessings and favor.  If you don’t want to throw away photos of your ex, it would be nice to store them in a box in an attic that you can look at 20 years from now when it shouldn’t matter to you or your future husband.  But at second thought, why would you and your spouse ever want to look at them?

 

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