He’s Just Not That Into You: 9 Lines That Simply Mean He Doesn’t Like You

June 16, 2012 ‐ By Julia Austin

"Couple drinking and flirting"

Love (or like) is an over-powering feeling. When you fall for someone, you fall fast, and it’s all you can think about. It’s all you can talk about. Everything reminds you of the person. You get ahead of yourself, thinking about dates you’ll take them on, trips you’ll take together, and long nights of passion. With that in mind, you really can’t like someone, and say any of the below things and mean them. Neither can a guy.

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  • nubiankween323

    These were things I say… yikes lol

  • d.

    And let’s not forget the one that has the most meaning when he is trying to tell you that he’s not into you “I don’t like the smell of your vagina”.

  • gentlemenadvocate

    i STRONGLY disagree with this list and feel that whoever wrote this article is misleading people! some of these “lines” are valid. i am married with a kid and i can idenutify with alot of the lines that you would tell a person. everything doesnt have to be red hot! sometimes, men need time and space and time to take it all in! some men dont want to put it all out there. some men are shy! some men are gentlemen! give me a break!

  • nunaya bizz

    You wrote on #3 “you going to tell me that if someone you were madly in love with and who you got perfectly along with walked into your life, you’d say, “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now?”

    YES, that is EXACTLY what I’d say and I’d MEAN IT! All I have under my ribs is a dried up piece of roadkill where my heart USED to be, it wouldn’t be fair to them or myself to avail myself to a relationship. Isn’t that the right thing to do, especially if I REALLY liked them? Don’t call bullshyte on me, you don’t know me! Work on your damn self!

  • Ray C

    I can only semi-agree with this article. I usually agree with most articles, but the “he might not be into you” type ones are the only ones I ever have disagreement with. For instance not looking for a relationship. Do you know how many women I know who end up in relationships when they’re not really looking and were actually upfront about it? Sometimes you do go through a phase where you’re enjoying the single life but that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone in the back of your mind. Also, the one about the guy being busy, I guess that’s a double-standard. I know plenty of women who early on acted like they had to find time to “get around” to the guy they’re in a relationship or married to now. We all make decisions that are not the best for us at times. A theme in a lot of these articles is “if he really likes you, he will change his whole life around and move heaven and earth for you.” Though I think that’s true to an extent, I think it does set some people up for unrealistic expectations.

  • ashley aubrey

    For Slide #4 of this article, I think the word you might be looking for is repititous or workaholic instead of “masochist.” That word has a meaning that doesn’t fit the description

  • TrueStory

    So ….. taking it slow = bad. I want to have sex with you = bad. Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about, frankly. If a woman reads into signs like the writer does, assuming the worst-case scenario, then that says oodles of negative things about the person’s personality. No one wants to be around anyone who always makes negative rash judgements, and that’s possibly why guys are running in the opposite direction.

  • Pfft

    About half of this is reasonable, and half of it is nonsense. Also, “…when you like someone, you want them with you everywhere!” That’s not entirely true either. Articles like this are the reason why there are so many women out there horrified by the thought of their men having “me time” or time with their friends.

    • Ray C

      Yes, that does seem to be the primary theme in all of these similar articles. Basically if you’re really into someone everything about them becomes the greatest thing. I don’t care who you are NO ONE wants to be around you all the time. I agree almost everything on this list is stuff we do when we’re not ready to dive in 100% but at the same time it doesn’t mean we’re not interested.

  • jenn

    really? come on now. i’m female, and i have actually broken off
    relationships or decided against them from the get-go just because i was
    happy being single. it wasn’t that i’d been horribly hurt in relationships or that i wanted to be able to sleep around or anything; i just like myself, and my alone time THAT much that i was happier with the occasional company of my friends than i would have been in a relationship.

    i have also told people that i was too busy for a
    relationship, and meant it, in a very honest way – if i’m going to start
    a relationship with someone, it isn’t fair to them to make them compete
    with my insane work schedule and family emergencies. while it’s
    conceivable that i might give up a good (yet demanding) job for the
    right person, it wouldn’t be for someone i was just thinking about
    getting into a relationship with, and there is NO way that spending time
    with a potential significant other (or even a spouse, for that matter) would ever win out over taking care
    of sick parents/grandparents.

    furthermore, my partner and i have been together for 4.5 years, and he said “let’s take it slow.” you know why? it’s because when you actually take the time to get to know someone, and build a relationship based on mutual trust/understanding and learning to respect another’s personal space, the relationship tends to work a lot better than one based on sex and attraction alone. incidentally, we’re still so much in love that it makes our friends sick (we can get a little cutesy sometimes).

  • Token Guy

    Ladies, you’re doing yourselves a real disservice if you actually believe this stuff. Real men are not what you see on Lifetime or what women describe in columns. Many of us are more driven by success and the respect of their peers than by romance. Accepting this fact will help far more than thinking there’s something wrong with us because we’re not the same as you.

  • shootersroom210

    i am BOYCOTTING every advertiser here because your pages load like shtt

  • sissybarmama

    It’s true ladies!!! I must have dated every idiot before and there were maybe 3 or 4 that I fell in love with. If a guy says he’s and “island” and “will never be the marrying type” take it personal. He means that he will never marry you. So, have fun and do all kinds of sordid things.
    When the break up comes, have your friends ready–you know, the ones that won’t say “I told you so”.

  • 95truefan95

    The worst thing any woman could do is listen to believe this drivel

  • Bo

    This sounds like it was written by some whiny teenager who found her prom date making out with someone else. Whine whine whine. If you’re writing ‘dating’ articles, shouldn’t you know how to get one yourself??

  • http://twitter.com/DatMichCray Mishe

    Exactly why i hope females take this site’s relationship advice with a huge grain of salt.

    At the “Everyone wants a relationship” line, this post lost all credibility.
    I’m sure everyone likes the IDEA of a relationship in theory. But in reality, relationships aren’t for everyone and mature individuals recognize this and choose to remain single. People can say “if a guy really wants to be with you, he will” but I personally think that’s oversimplification of the matter, because not every situation is that cut and dry. What’s the right person if it’s at the wrong time? The relationship is set up for failure.

    I also wouldnt fault a guy for saying he doesnt want a relationship because he’s still heartbroken. Matter of fact, I would MUCH rather he say that, than get into a relationship with me while he’s emotionally unavailable.

    Some of the things on this list are excuses, but some are actually valid reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship. Just my $0.02

    Follow @DatMichCray :)

    • Ray C

      I agree. That’s what I was going for in my post. That doesn’t mean a guy doesn’t “like you” but he is just keeping it real. He might just not want something serious right now. He’s either not at that point or going through a phase. Also, if he says that it could be you but not in the negative way the article makes it out. There is a great possibility that sometimes we meet a women and we feel like we’re not ready or have ourselves together enough to be with them.

  • PapiKnowsBest

    This article is had to written by a woman b/c it’s full of BS! All men and I’m sure allot of women are not looking for a relationship! Many are content with being single and love it. I know I do!

    • Froggage

      (removed by user)


    I agree with the I’m too busy one as well.


    I agree especially with the last one.

  • MadMobileUssr

    Can you all please do something about these large mobile ads! I’m tired of clicking a headline that takes me straight to my App Store.

  • Guest

    Um… I think this stuff applies to females too. Because I’ve been guilty of almost ALL of these. Awkward….

  • Tagirl

    Best advice one of my male cousins always told me, is if a man tells you something about how he is, believe him, and keep it moving if it’s not what you want. Because if you stay, you’re doing so at your own risk and he’ll always be able to say, “Well, you knew how I was because I told you upfront.

    • http://twitter.com/cactusheart Lydia Dietrich

      Ummm….they COULD lie to impress you. You know, “silly putty” you…your likes, interests & whatnot, fooling you into believing they’re perfect for you when they’re not. I should know.

  • TatumPascal

    I agree with about half of this article. I know from my own personal experience that the ‘let’s go slow’ line isn’t necessarily a I’m just not that into you sign. As I have gotten older, I have realized that I have cut short several promising relationships because I got scared. What I do now is make it clear to the person that I like them and I want to get to know them better, but we need to go slow so I don’t get scared and cut them off at the knees. I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking it slow. If less people had the all-or-nothing-at-all-syndrome, we wouldn’t hear stories about people living double lives and having multiple baby mamas like the 3 men with 80 kids article. I think the lyrics to Nelly Furtado’s “I’m like a bird” say it very well.

    • Ray C

      Yeah some people are just not that quick to dive right in.

  • Blackhawk

    I disagree with most of this. If a man is not ready to settle down and be with one woman, its doen’t matter if Cleopatra walks into his life it’s not going to happened. I can speak from my own life, some men go through seasons in his life, and one of them is being single by choice. This is the time we are totally free to do whatever we want, date whoever we want, and just be that bachelor. Truth about it with some men its all about timing. You could rush him into settling down before his ready, but don’t be surprise if he has other women on the side.

    • Froggage

      I think that what you’re saying is correct, but I don’t understand why you are saying that you disagree with most of this article. I think your viewpoint and the article are actually on the same page.

  • mel

    This is depressing…

  • FixT

    MadameNoire, please make some large adjustment to this site. Everything should be on 1 pagee, a user friendly interface, easy to navigate website.

    • http://www.facebook.com/alice.edwin.1 Dee Dia

      THANK YOU!!!!!

    • FeliFoo

      i’ll agree with this. the slides make it difficult to read through… especially in mobile devices. i hope you make this consideration

    • Froggage

      THANK YOU. Until you get this thing straightened out (the ads are a hot mess, and the pages don’t load properly; you have to reload them three or four times to get the full content, and even then, the graphics are all screwed up) please stop putting every separate point of an article on a different page; having to click through 10 pages to see the 10 things I shouldn’t do in a relationship is killing me, and you guys need to kill that noise until you work the bugs out of this mobile site.

    • lisae

      This has been asked time and time again and MadameNoire does NOTHING about it. Maybe because they’re able to squeeze in more advertisers per slide as oppose to having all the info on one page. Utter foolishness.

    • SanskrizzleMyNizzle

      Gotta get those clicks. The more clicks, the more ad money.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kristie.turner.7 Kristie Iceskatingbgirl Turner

    How about the “it never works out” in regards to him and past relationships

  • FamuRattler85

    I think schools should start teaching classes in getting let down easy because some folks just don’t get it.