10 Things We All Learn About Men In Our Twenties

16 Comments
February 23, 2012 ‐ By Julia Austin
"Couple flirting at a bar"

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Between high school sweethearts, when it’s perfectly okay to text each other from across the room and say “I love you” within one month, and the dating challenges of your late twenties, a lot changes. Those young adult years are a crash course on men for most women. Most of us walk out of our twenties with these understandings about these very interesting creatures:

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  • Cutily

    There’s one thing I learnt with my ex: when immature 20 yo guys say something, that doesn’t mean a thing!

    Well he kept saying how he would never do something, how things were a way and not the other and blah blah.

    I would generally wait a few months for him to come and say “I was stupid, I didn’t want to admit it but I was wrong.”

  • TeeBabe

    Some of these lessons contradict themselves and most I learned way before I was 20. What I learned in my 20’s was : 1. Many men suffer from an Oedipus complex and are incredibly selfish and emotionally damaged. 2. Celibacy weans out the insincere and deranged. 3. They are not as logical and rational as they or the media would have you believe.

  • Bwebwhbdhmnksn

    Why don’t you just call this article “Things I learned in my twenties” instead of pretending everyone is just as slow as you are? Another lame article from jaustin, nothing to see here, move along people. I wish this site would put the author names on original link so I could avoid these lazy articles.

    • chaka1

       I fully support your assessment…

    • chaka1

       I fully support your assessment…

  • Bwebwhbdhmnksn

    Why don’t you just call this article “Things I learned in my twenties” instead of pretending everyone is just as slow as you are? Another lame article from jaustin, nothing to see here, move along people. I wish this site would put the author names on original link so I could avoid these lazy articles.

  • lacehankies

    How does one attach themselves to such ideologies in their twenties and try to utilize those same notions  at  30? That does make much SENSE, to me!  It appears that you haven’t GROWN at all and you feel that the MEN haven’t either. Why are we using a BROAD brush for ALL men—they all are NOT the SAME! Just as ALL women are NOT the same! 
    I for one, do NOT like a MAN that I can PEG and place into a particular category—that’s BORING! He’s doesn’t need to call me everyday, the same time each day—that’s a SIGN of DISTRUST!The assumption CANNOT be that because a MAN is calling ALL the time, he’s MORE interested then the MEN that don’t. I have realized that SOME MEN that do ALL the calling, texting and such have an agenda that they NEED to fulfill quickly! And those same MEN could meet another woman and desire taking his TIME and getting to know that woman better. We ALL know that BUSY aint that BUSY—we ALL make time for the things that we WANT–PERIOD!And there is NO way that I’m going to bombard a MAN while he’s working, worrying about why he didn’t text me because so-so’s MAN is  texting her ALL day long–so she says*side eyeing*! I’m a PRODUCTIVE woman that desires a productive MAN so I catch you on the flip-flop!I say deal with a  MAN, on an individual basis, if he has behaviors that seems similar to a previous MAN—just GUARD your heart, keep your CLOTHES and see IF he is acting the SAME or is it your paranoia having been DUMPED on and cannot TRUST anyone! And please stop listening to your GF’s —they don’t  always follow their OWN advice nor do they KNOW everything!

  • lacehankies

    How does one attach themselves to such ideologies in their twenties and try to utilize those same notions  at  30? That does make much SENSE, to me!  It appears that you haven’t GROWN at all and you feel that the MEN haven’t either. Why are we using a BROAD brush for ALL men—they all are NOT the SAME! Just as ALL women are NOT the same! 
    I for one, do NOT like a MAN that I can PEG and place into a particular category—that’s BORING! He’s doesn’t need to call me everyday, the same time each day—that’s a SIGN of DISTRUST!The assumption CANNOT be that because a MAN is calling ALL the time, he’s MORE interested then the MEN that don’t. I have realized that SOME MEN that do ALL the calling, texting and such have an agenda that they NEED to fulfill quickly! And those same MEN could meet another woman and desire taking his TIME and getting to know that woman better. We ALL know that BUSY aint that BUSY—we ALL make time for the things that we WANT–PERIOD!And there is NO way that I’m going to bombard a MAN while he’s working, worrying about why he didn’t text me because so-so’s MAN is  texting her ALL day long–so she says*side eyeing*! I’m a PRODUCTIVE woman that desires a productive MAN so I catch you on the flip-flop!I say deal with a  MAN, on an individual basis, if he has behaviors that seems similar to a previous MAN—just GUARD your heart, keep your CLOTHES and see IF he is acting the SAME or is it your paranoia having been DUMPED on and cannot TRUST anyone! And please stop listening to your GF’s —they don’t  always follow their OWN advice nor do they KNOW everything!

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  • Bettylaluna

    I’m not so sure if most of us ‘learned’ these things in our 20’s with the glorifying of violence and abuse on tv…Chris Brown beats the living crap out of Rhianna and we’re still buying his music, he gets a grammy and women defending him up and down…I moderated a support forum, all Narcissisistic Personality Disorder abuse victims, traffic four million monthly – I know at least four million who didn’t learn this in their twenties.  Perhaps the article should be:  “What Women Need to Learn Before They’re 30″ or “Mommas Teach Your Daughters Well” or “Git Yo Kids off Grand Theft Auto” I could go on with titles.  Awareness and education is needed to teach our younger generation about emotional intellegience and how NOT to tolerate abuse.  Some forms are stealth.  What we used to call the ‘playa’ if you read up on it falls under the traits of a Narcissist and I don’t mean narcissistic, I mean full blown NPD or a Sociopath!  I’d love to see this covered more in the media as the media itself glorifes narcissism and this is what our younger generation is aspiring to.  I hope you’ll give this some attention.  Thank you…www.narcraiders.blogspot.com/2012/01/welcome-to-narc-raiders.html.  I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have on the topic…
    ~Betty LaLuna “Narc Raider Educator”

    • the1

      shut up! why must people always try to prove a point by adding a child into the argument? just state what you need to state and move on…no need to even mention CB damn! if you have a problem, don’t buy his damn music and don’t allow your children to either!

      • cake211

        Chris Brown is NOT a child. And there is perfectly valid reason to bring him up; the fact that we have a generation of young women that don’t consider CB’s behavior as ridiculous.

  • L-Boogie

    This happened to me but the opposite way around.  Go figure!

  • Pivyque

    Well…I just wanted to see how accurate this would be…I learned all these things before or during high school. Lol My mom told me upfront that any call or text after 10 is inappropriate and I haven’t spoken to a man after 10 except my husband… and that’s because we live together lol I had older brothers and male cousins, so maybe that is why I didn’t have to learn these things from experience.

    • Sugar_Spice

      Co Sign, I learned this early too!  I wish the thirsty females across America would get the message.