You Mad? 7 Signs That Your Attitude Is Hurting You More Than Others

February 7, 2012  |  

We’ve all had that moment where we were having a bad day (or week) and lost our marbles on somebody on the train, somebody at work, or sadly, somebody at home (actually, all cases are pretty sad). It might have even been a whole lot of attitude that happened to show up when your mother asked you to do something–I’m sure she set you straight. However, if you lose your marbles with people like this on the regular and that’s the reputation attached to you, then that’s a problem. Nobody likes nor cares for the “angry black woman” stereotype, but rage is real, and you can’t be out on the streets releasing it on any ‘ol body who looks at you cross, steps on your shoe, or happens to wheel into the long a** checkout line at Target with a cart full of mess right as you were trying to get in it with two items. If you don’t get your temper in order, believe me, you’ll be doing more damage to yourself than the people you’re losing your mind over.

You Get Mad Over the Inevitable

How can you go to a club and get mad that someone bumped into you? Or worse, how can you get on the train, aka, the sardine can, and pitch a fit, suck your teeth and roll your eyes because someone is too close or runs into you? It’s the inevitable, child. As much as we would like to have our space on public transportation and the like to stretch out and cool relax, this isn’t imagination land. Move over as much as you can without being obnoxious about it (as if to physically be saying, UGH, MOVE B****). Being mad that you won’t get free space on public transportation and other places you know people dwell is like being mad that you’re sweating when you willingly went to the gym to workout. Be cool, baby.

You Can’t Seem to Compromise

You want to go the movies but the people in your party want to walk around the mall. No big thing, right? Maybe next time you’ll hit the theater. Sorry to say, for the lady with a piping hot attitude, when you don’t get what you want, the day might as well be over. The expression on your face will be so clear that you’re ticked off and that your friends suck a** in your opinion that you will literally guilt them into doing what you want. When you’re a little girl, it’s a bit more acceptable. However, as an adult, sulking about not getting what you want will have you sitting in front of the phone waiting for someone to call–and they won’t.

You’ll Go on a Tirade Anywhere at Anyone

I’ll never forget this episode of True Life I saw with people who had anger issues. One woman was running the risk of having her relationship crumble because she couldn’t control her temper. One day, a lady looked at this woman and her boyfriend cross, and before you knew it, every expletive you could think of was flying out of her mouth in front of everyday people on the street. Her man was so embarrassed and angry, and I felt bad for the both of them. She TRULY couldn’t help herself and she was so close and so ready to throw fisticuffs. If you’re not even thinking before you open your mouth when you’re mad and all you see is red, that’s scary and definitely not healthy.

Nobody Can Ask You a Simple Question

“You’re not going to ___? Why not?” If you have a bad attitude, your answer to a question like this definitely gives off the vibe that says, BECAUSE I CAN’T DO IT AND THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW! Don’t you get it? The chick with the feisty attitude doesn’t want to be asked any real questions about her business, especially when you’re not included or involved in any sort of way. Ask them how something sensitive in their life is going and you can feel the walls closing in. Sure, they can ask you 20 questions about the smallest things, but when you think you’re close enough to do the same, that’s when their eyes squint up and their facial expression screams, none of your business!

You Know How to Ruin Ish For Other People

*Smiles* I can’t even lie, this is totally me sometimes and trust, I’m trying to do better. But if doors don’t open up immediately for you and things don’t happen when you want them to, how you want them to, a wave of negativity rolls over you. You complain incessantly about how wack the place is that you’re kicking it at, go through a list of things you could have been doing at this time had you not let your friends talk you into showing up–you basically have no patience. Everyone gets a bit antsy from time to time, but you damn near lose your composure within the first 15 minutes waiting on something or someone. WOOSA!

 

Your Mood is Ruined By the Smallest Mess

Don’t let someone joke with you about something that they didn’t realize was off limits to you…hold your hats folks, homegirl is about to blow! Easily irritable people are perhaps the hardest to read. One minute they might seem like they’re in the greatest of moods, and the next, what you thought was a harmless little joke has them putting you in your place, in public…like, in front of other people little kid style. That’s not cool. Or even worse, they go silent and have nothing to say to you. You’re left guessing as to what you did while they hold whatever it is against you. While the easily irritable chick might claim she has a good sense of humor, that’s a boldface lie–she’s sensitive. If you’re that sensitive person, expect to find yourself left at home alone, because walking around eggshells with someone is not how people want to spend their days and nights.

 

Your First Instinct is “Whoop That Trick”

To go from level 1 to 100 in less than 20 seconds is a dangerous thing. Folks with bad attitudes can be some of the first people to pop off on someone without thinking about the consequences. While some people would love to avoid unnecessary confrontation and would brush things off their shoulder for the sake of not letting their day go to hell, you’re ready to put your fist in someone’s face. Like the two women who acted a fool in a Manhattan McDonald’s learned, you never know who you’re messing with until they skip karate for CR-azy and put you in the hospital. And if your friends have to get involved in a brawl over your foolishness to look out for you, you probably do need to get your butt whooped.

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  • This sound like a girl i know. She is no longer able to go out with me and my bff. After getting kicked out of a bar because she wouldnt stf that was it for me. 

  • The always angry black woman needs to change her attitudes!

  • And many are manless because of these attitudes and behaviors. It’s no wonder black men are turned off from black woman and seek out whites, hispanics and asians.

  • MixedUpInVegas

    This kind of behavior is just what perpetuates the “angry black woman” stereotype.  That alone is a good reason to get a grip.  Playing to our most unflattering stereotypes doesn’t help us as a gender or a people.

  • disomoge2fine

    i’m guilty of getting angry over little things but only after i attempt to let things build up by good nature-ly ignoring it. I was friendly with a  colleague then I started noticing that she was bossing me around. there’s a way someone asks for help that seems like they’re rudely ordering something at a restaurant with the hand-wave and no eye-contact.  so one day after she was back to her domineering ways and I stopped and looked at her like ‘B*TCH, IS U CRAZY?’ and she laughed in my face (yikes! run-on sentence), i cut her off with a quickness.

  • Jess B

    “Your Mood is Ruined By the Smallest Mess” Oh Lawd, that is me all the way! The smallest thing can ruin my entire day. Say I can’t find a certain pair of shoes that I wanted to wear and end up having to wear a different pair *BOOM* pissed for the rest of the day. Missed the bus on my way to work *BOOM* my day is ruined. It’s funny when I write it down, but it’s honestly something I need to work on. 

  • MixedUpInVegas

    Too many people have had the misfortune to come into contact with the women described in this article.  Guest, Wisdom and Smmmoke hit the nail on the head–cut it out!  Your behavior could rise to the level of being criminal; your unwitting victims could sue you; you could go to jail; you could lose your job and standing in the community; you could be labeled a violent psychopath.  None of this will help you in life.

    Adults cannot assault other people without significant provocation and expect to escape a court date.  The fact that assaulting another person is a CRIME should be enough to discourage rational, responsible people from doing so.  As to loud, profane verbal outbreaks in public, those only convince anyone within earshot that you are crazy and maybe dangerous.  There are unpleasant and lasting consequences to those kinds of behaviors.

    Adults are expected to be in control of themselves.  Any adult who is not should ask themselves what the root of their problem might be and seek treatment.  This is not normal, desirable or civilized behavior.  The consequences of continuing on this path are serious, expensive and long lasting.  Please find out why you may be violent, overreactive, antisocial and dangerous to others.  You only have one life–live it well.

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  • Guest

    Nobody Can Ask You a Simple Question, 
     you never know who you’re messing with…
    Leave people alone. Mind your own business.

     I hate it when people are nosy so they can discuss you with others. Silence cannot be misquoted. If I do not answer, do yourself a favor and quit asking or you might get your feelings hurt.

  • Misscharmaine16

    Didn’t have to read this article to confirm my anger issues. So sad but true! Im working on it.

  • Wisdom

    This is a very accurate list! Here’s the real deal: when you go around acting out the behaviors from this list, you are announcing to the world you have emotional problems. Everytime you outburst like a banshee, a neon sign that everybody else can see lights up over your head. It flashes, “EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED”.

    It is not a sign of strength. 
    It does not get you what you want.
    It is not funny.

    Stop walking around advertising you’re the walking wounded. Walk yourself up into some therapy and work through the painful issues undergirding your hostility once and for all.

    Just a bit of “tough love” here.

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  • Rain206

    i am to guilty of getting angry over the smallest things i can really do think it’s hurting the relationship that i have with my 11 month old baby. i am a stay at home mom and i am guilty of yelling at him and getting upset and it’s not that big of a deal. Now when my son cries he only wants him father. its hurtful but i know i need to change. thanks for this.

  • MZ.79JACKSON

    I AM GUILTY OF GETTING ANGRY IF YOU COME TO CLOSE TO ME,BUT I LEARN HOW TO BRUSH THAT KIND OF STUFF OFF,YOU CANT ACT LIKE A GHETTO HOOD RAT WITH NO MORALS,COMMON SENSE OR LADYLIKENESS IN YOU AND EXPECT TO BE IN THE WORLD.I KNOW CHICKS THAT HAVE THE WORST ATTITUDES KNOWN TO MAN AND YOU JUST REALLY WONDER WHY SHE IS LIKE THAT,NO MAN,NO JOB,NO MONEY,CHEATED ON,ABUSED,BAD CHILDHOOD,DEPRESSION,RAPED, I DONT KNOW BUT I KNOW CHICKS THAT LET THEIR PERSONAL LIFE AND BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO THEM AFFECT THEIR EVERYDAY MOOD,AND I FEEL SORRY FOR THEM,SO I JUST LOOK AT THEM PRAY AND DO THE TOTAL OPPOSITE.SO I’M NOT THE “ANGRY BITTER BLACK WOMAN.

  • Smmmoke

    This is all great advice. It’s very hard for men to deal with angry women because men are at a disadvantage if things escalate to the physical. Especially with brothas because if police are called we are typically the ones to go to jail. It’s best to recognize angry women early and stay away.
    Usually the anger that I come across is much less sensational. It’s when I kindly approach/flirt with a woman and she’s not feeling me for whatever reason. I think that’s the typical anger or attitude that most cats feel from sistas. I mean why have an attitude when someone is just trying to meet you??? I think that’s a big reason why guys like docile, timid women so much. Who can get past that attitude to get to really get to know a person?? This ain’t ‘Jason’s Lyric.’

  • Marier

    The article is on point while my personal examples may be different in essence its the same. Our attitude is a reflection of whats wrong with us. If we are constantly unhappy about the things or circumstances around us its a cry for help on a deeper level. The atttitude isnt the problem its the end product. Solve the original problem & the attitude will be adjusted

  • universal

    my goodness!! these angry chocolate women in these pics are looking supa sexy(especially the first three pics). but maybe it kinda reminds me of my female friend cause she has a “little” anger problem but in the strangest way, it kinda turns me on. but we try hard to work it out cause sometimes her attitude can definitely become a problem especially if were out in public, but maybe thats why i can never really take anywhere “upscale”. yeah, we really tryin hard to figure out her anger pains, but she has been through a lot in her 31 years of life tho. also btw, she exemplifies every one of these angre points (described in this article).

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    E.G., How to act like Tasha Mack from ‘The Game’. 

  • Rachael

    LMAO@ “Whoop that trick!” I clicked that link in the story about the women in McDonald’s too. Did you guys hear how things ended up?  The women were allegedly drunk and later attacked each other and the cops when they arrived on the scene! They are both going to jail and the McDonalds worker was cleared of charges.