7 Things That Could Change The Way He Feels About You

January 31, 2012  |  

 

"relationships"

The first few dates might have been phenomenal. The first few months might have been like living on cloud 9. The first all night phone call might have felt effortless until some random moment when you suddenly lost the connection. What are these little things that can be major game changers for a guy? Here are 7 behaviors that tell a man a lot about you, and can sometimes surprise him.

"Young black couple"

Becoming insecure

Are you weird? Do you have bizarre habits? Are you annoying sometimes? Probably. But, who isn’t?? The problem occurs when you become insecure about your quirkiness. If you follow up every thing you do and say with “is that weird of me?” and “do you think I’m totally crazy” a man will sense you are not comfortable with who you are. Typically, early on in the dating process, men make more of an effort to tell you how cute the “weird” things you do are. When they stop telling you, it’s not because they don’t find it cute—it’s because they think you already know and are comfortable with it. So, if you just did something you know was totally batShyte nuts and he doesn’t say anything, keep your poker face. He will respect you for it.

"Man wearing glasses"

Knowing about your exes

We’ve all dated people we’ve been embarrassed by. Someone super clingy who wrote us 100 love letters. Someone who is notorious for being an a**hole to the whole world, but was sweet to us. Someone who made us take professional black and white portraits as a couple on the beach. Your current guy doesn’t need to know the odd details of your exes. He might judge you (even though he’s surely dated some oddballs in his day) and question your taste. Meanwhile, you know there’s nothing wrong with you: you fell for who you fell for.

"Woman yelling at the phone"

How you talk to your parents

Ever been in the presence of people fighting in public and it’s really awkward for everyone around? Guess what: those people don’t usually even realize they are being inappropriate. They are just so used to talking to each other that way. Before you bring your man around your parents or really any family members, analyze how you typically speak to those family members. You might be the sweetest person, but if you are noticeably mean or cold to your parents, your man might change his opinion of you. (Disclaimer—we all get a little nuts around our family and it is totally disconnected from who we are in the rest of our lives…but your man might not realize that).

 "Messy bedroom"

Seeing your home

Your home is a representation of who you are! Like it or not—even if you haven’t decorated at all, that in and of itself tells a guy something about you. Bringing a guy back to your pristinely clean/hit by a hurricane mess/covered in porcelain trinkets/whatever it may be home gives a guy a whole new perspective on you. If you’re working on being a different type of person but your home just doesn’t reflect that yet, try to do a little re-arranging and cleaning before you bring the guy over.

"Woman stressed out in front of computer"

How you handle stress

The first few weeks and even months of dating are great! Every time you are with your man, it’s like a mini vacation. You put your worries aside. The guy is a part of your fun time. But, it’s only sustainable for so long not to bring up the issues of life. If you become easily irritated, noticeably angry, aggressive, or even bottle up your emotions about big things, your man will notice that. And it’s a whole new element he hasn’t seen before because before, you didn’t bring up the stressful stuff.

"Couple in bed"

How you are in bed

The most timid woman can be an animal in bed. The most dominant woman can be submissive in bed. A lot of us allow certain sides of ourselves to come out only during sex—it’s an outlet for whatever traits we think we can’t show in our every day lives. Men pick up on those traits during sex.

"Black woman eating"

How you eat

Do you ask a lot of questions about your food? Do you get tons of things on the side? Do you need to know what’s on a menu before you go to the restaurant? Do you let the waiter surprise you? Do you need to eat at a certain time? Men actually analyze the way women eat a lot. To them, it’s an indicator of how laid back you are, how comfortable you are with yourself and how open you are to new experiences.

 

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  • FromUR2UB

    That sure is a lot of analyizing going on.  Sounds pretty nit-picky to me.  We all know that when you don’t really like someone, you can find things to hold against them, like their needing to eat at a certain time, and when you do like someone, you can overlook a lot.  Now if some of these analyses guaranteed a lasting relationship, I could go along with it.  But some of it just sounds like an excuse for eliminating someone he probably wasn’t into anyway.  

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  • Ms12

    Great insight. But all these “secret ways” also apply to men and how we see them eventually.

  • Superchick

    This isa great article. I agree with alot of it too.  When I first started dating my now-husband, he was very verbal about the things he noticed.. all of which were on this list. Luckily, I eat sensibly, love my parents (and am very respectful), I love cleaning house, and well…  let’s just say I passed.   

    Other things are if you work out, if you have a good reputation at work, if you have “real” friends, if you seem to have drama in your life (turn off), if you actually have a life (hobbies, etc), and your hair.

  • Jeromethecrackfox

    Oh, come on. Please stop blaming women for the romantic whims of men. When a man loses interest in you and you’ve done nothing to him, he’s the one with the problem. If there’s something about you he discovers and doesn’t like, then he wasn’t for you. You didn’t do something wrong. He perceived something about you negatively. He’s the actor in this. But, he just took care of the problem that dating him would have become, so that’s a plus!

    • guest

      Excellent advice!

    • tracy

      This is a very true quote. If a man has doubts about you a lot of things he will find fault with. Its not the woman. I have a brother who dated countless women and he stayed with the one who had the same or worse characteristics of the past women he dated , why? Because when men like a woman a lot and see a future with her its very little that she can do to change that. He will see her as “perfect” in his eyes. The girlfriend is untidy, she curses him, bosses him around but he does not see that.

      • general

        Because there’s something else she does as a counter weight

    • general

      This is why our marriage rates are what they are. ……..exhibit A….does this type of personality translate into a committed relationship. …?????not in modern times.

  • Gmarie

    Just do you. Some are gonna like it, some are not. the ones who don’t like it are obviously not compatible with you. If you have to stress yourself over something as miniscule as what you EAT around a man then you have your answer there already on the table.

    • FromUR2UB

      Exactly!

  • Yaya

    How I eat? WTF!?! That should be my business, not his. Why would a man judge someone on that?

    • Leadingladyy2k

      Because it says a lot about how you take care of yourself.

      • DeepThinker

        Yep and how you take care of yourself will strongly impact how healthy you will be in the future. If he or she is considering a long-term committment, childbearing or even marriage.
        If that person is a cheeseburger away from a heart attack, your partner will become a caretaker or have to raise the kids on their own.  Yes, spouses get sick, but if it is due to gluttony or just not taking care of yourself, why should someone else be burdened with that?

    • PrettiVicki

      I had a man once be completely surprised because I actually ate my meal on our first date.  He said he loved it because most women pretend they don’t eat or act fakely dainty when they eat. I on the other hand was totally natural and it showed that I was more comfortable in my own skin than anyone he had dated before…

      • HOUSTON TEXAN

        MEN SHOULD START JUDGING WOMEN WHO EAT WITH THEIR MOUTHS OPEN AND SMACK.  THAT IS JUST PLAIN NASTY

    • HOUSTON TEXAN

      SMACKING AND EATING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN IS A NO NO.

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