by Quierra Davis-Martin
We often hear that for women, “sex is her power.” For centuries women have used their bodies and beauty to attain some type of reward. Whether that be negative or positive, women to this day still use sex as a weapon even in relationships. If her man is acting up she withholds sex, if her man has gotten her a beautiful gift she rewards him with sex. It’s very apparent that we as women use sex to our advantage at times.
Many women believe this works when first meeting a guy as well. I had a good friend who would always be meeting successful, well rounded, wonderful guys but she couldn’t seem to keep them interested for very long. I remember her always saying things like “just wait, I’m going to have him hooked once I put it on him”. She truly believed that when first meeting a guy, good sex is what would win him over and keep him around. Apparently her theory wasn’t working to her advantage. Granted, every guy wants sexual satisfaction from a woman he is interested in, but is this what really makes him determine whether or not he’ll be sticking around for the long haul? If you have sex with a guy right away, are your chances of keeping him interested higher?
I interviewed a few of my male friends and found out some pretty astonishing information. The majority of them said if they REALLY liked a woman, they’d actually rather wait awhile before having sex with her. They went on to say if they were driven by lust and didn’t really see a future with the woman they’d have sex with her right away. This was very interesting to me. I wondered if it was because they were afraid things would mess up. One of my good friends said he’d rather wait because if he really liked a woman he’d be more interested in getting to know her. He said that when a man really likes a woman he’s interested in wooing her and courting her. He looks forward to dates and long conversations. Sex becomes the desert as opposed to being the main course. He even said if he has sex with a woman he liked too soon, things naturally became awkward.
I truly believe that the awkwardness comes from being intimate with someone who you really know nothing about. It should feel weird and unnatural to anyone to experience sex with someone you barely know. Sure men can have sex and it can be purely sex for him but how does he usually feel afterwards? He’s ready to run to the nearest exit! When you take time getting to know someone sometimes sex is even better. You become more in tune with one another on an emotional level. When you have sex too soon, sometimes you’re not sure what to talk about after. This seems to be most of my male friend’s dilemma. They usually state that they meet a beautiful woman, take her home, have amazing sex with her, but by morning they are DYING to get away from her. Men usually say they feel this way for many reasons. The top 5 reasons are listed below