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Stability is a very normal thing to desire. We are biologically designed to seek out stability. Back when our ancestors lived in caves and hunted and gathered, women chose to procreate with the guys who were able to bring home the most literal bacon (or, like, a carcass) and build the best shelter. For a very, very long time, the concept of romantic love simply did not exist. If you want an even greater look at how new the concept is, just remember that in most of Jane Austen’s novels, the main characters are fighting to have a marriage based on romantic love during a time when that still was not the norm—and that was the 1800s! Not that long ago. So, as you can see, there’s no reason to feel bad if a little part of you is attracted to practical resources—it’s ingrained in you. That being said, we do now (at least most of us) want a marriage based on romance and friendship. Our brains have shifted to need that in order to feel happy, more than we need things like four-car garages and multiple credit cards. So, if you do make the mistake of marrying a man you don’t love, for stability, eventually, that reality will catch up with you.
You tell yourself that love isn’t everything
You often find yourself saying things like, “You know love isn’t everything” and “A marriage can’t exist on just fun and sex!” That’s you trying to justify the fact that your marriage has, well, little love, little fun, and almost no sex…but it does have a nice Roth IRA.
