Parenthood is hard. There is no instruction manual and there are no cliff notes to explain how to deal with things — especially things that seem trivial but may not be. Although being a parent can also be an exciting journey, it can be very difficult and oftentimes annoying. It’s not just the kids that make you want tear your hair out at times, but it is also interactions with other adults, with or without children, that can make you want to scream.
A few months ago, my husband and I, along with our two children, visited a local restaurant. While waiting to be seated, the affable host told my two-year-old how cute she was then gave her three dollars. She stuck her hand out, accepted the money, and we made sure she thanked him, like we always do when someone does something nice for her or gives her a gift.
Initially, I expected the host to give one of his dollar bills to another kid standing about two feet from us. You know, as if he were giving money to all of the little kids in the area, which would have made sense. Instead, he chose to give all of the money to my daughter. I thought it was more random than weird — until it happened again, with the same man.
The restaurant host told us that day that he occasionally preaches at his church and invited us to attend. He was set to stand in the pulpit the very next day. Because we didn’t have a church home, we decided to attend his place of worship just to check it out.
As my family and I were sitting in a pew during praise and worship, the man took notice and proceeded to walk over to us. After thanking us profusely for showing up, he said to my toddler, “Man, you are just so cute! You’re going to take all of my money!” Then he handed her money again.
To say that it was odd would be an understatement. Our toddler looked at us with such bewilderment and we couldn’t blame her. Why was this man consistently giving her money (and doing so as though she really knew what to do with it)?
This is the first time that a stranger has given her money and I have to wonder if we handled the situation well. Should we have turned down the money the second time or maybe even the first?
Later on, my husband and I figured out why the man giving our daughter money was so weird to us. Not only was he a stranger, but also he appeared to give her money because she is cute (we came to this conclusion since he gave her money upon complimenting her). This isn’t a message that we want to send her, the idea that people will give you things and should give you things because you’re cute. We don’t want her growing up thinking she should use her looks to get what she wants.
If he was going to give her money, couldn’t he have given it to her and told her to put it in her college fund (obviously she wouldn’t fully understand, but it’s a great and better message nonetheless)?
However, I did think about the fact that he is an older man and he might not have thought anything of it. Maybe he has grandchildren that he doesn’t see often or he doesn’t have any at all and giving my toddler money was his way of filling a void. Or maybe, just maybe, his way of being nice to kids is to hand out a few singles.
Either way, a stranger giving my kids money is obviously not something I’m comfortable with. Instead, a simple compliment and a high-five, and maybe an encouraging word or two, will do just fine.
Images via Bigstock and Tumblr
