Another day, another need for someone to give bizarre dating advice so attaining love feels even more elusive.
Journalist Anna Davis wrote an article for The New York Post explaining why sharing your real name on a first date was so five minutes ago. Her reasoning? Ask Rachel Charlupski. The aforementioned subject was getting ready for a first date when she became bombarded with text messages from a potential love interest. “‘Hey! I’m sure you’re super busy with work and you sound really successful. Are you sure you had meant to match with me?’ the message read as the man continued to cite specifics about the 31-year-old Chelsea resident’s career — including her recent mention in a Forbes article — making it clear that he had Googled his potential match,” Davis wrote.
Rachel responded the best way any millennial could: she blocked her match and vowed from that day forward to never give a date her real name. “Everyone Googles everyone. I do it, so I know [guys do] it,” Charlupski told Davis, but the reason why she blocked her matched after he researched her is because she hates talking about her high-profile childcare business in social settings. “I love my job, but I hate talking about it in a social setting. And whenever a man knows what I do, and the fact that my clientele includes VIP athletes, that’s all he wants to discuss,” she revealed. Charlupski continued to share that she gives barely any information about herself until she feels she and her match(es) are compatible. But Charlupski isn’t alone in this new dating trend, Sandra LaMorgese, a holistic practitioner who moonlights as a dominatrix told The New York Post that she’s even slept with dates before sharing her real name. Her reasoning: “I like hiking and yoga; people describe me as vanilla. But as soon as a man realizes I’m a dominatrix, the conversation is all sex, all the time. I want him to get to know the other parts of me.”
Dr. Dion Metzger, author of The Modern Trophy Wife, told Davis that lying to protect one’s identity is becoming more common and even a smart move because researching people is the new norm in the digital age. And some like Blogger Melani Robinson believe that Google searching a date is a breach of trust. “I’ve written about getting a bikini wax, but that’s never something I’d bring up to someone I just met. But when someone reads it before they meet me, they assume that’s first date conversation,” Robinson told The Post.
I understand why someone like Sandra only gives her nickname to dates because of her moonlighting profession. I, too, would be annoyed if someone only wanted to talk about sex on a first date. However, I doubt I would spend the entire evening with a first date if all he wanted to talk about was “what that mouth do.” As for Charlupski and Robinson, they both seem to feel more important than they really are.
Instead of the immature move of blocking her match who revealed that he Google searched her, Rachel could have responded with a witty remark on why she swiped right on the bachelor— same goes for Robinson. If someone actually wants to discuss how you remove unwanted hair at the dinner table you have two options: change the direction of the conversation or kindly excuse yourself.
When I asked my co-workers how they felt about giving fake names on a first date, one shared that she would never do it and if someone decided to follow this new trend, she would think they have something severe to hide like a criminal record, wife or children.
Another’s concern was the upkeep of the lie. For example, if someone calls your cell phone you would have to explain why the name on the voicemail doesn’t match the name you gave and you would have to avoid discussing personal achievements which really helps you impress and connect with a mate.
Honestly, I feel like this new trend and so many others give people a reason to lie and play games at the beginning of a relationship. This continues the perception that dating is so hard when it really doesn’t have to be. To quote the ancient African-American proverb: It ain’t that deep.
