I’m sure most of us aren’t strangers to the latest news cycle of celebrity penis reveals, or as I call it – penisgate. In talking to some friends about such leaks and unveilings from numerous celebrities, our conversation revolved around penis aesthetics and preferences. Specifically, circumcised vs. uncircumcised men.
I’m pretty liberal when it comes to this and am of the school of thought that says a penis is a penis. Surprisingly, some of my friends don’t subscribe to this way of thinking. A few of them expressed that they would rather not deal with a man who was uncircumcised with reasons ranging from the lack of aesthetic appeal to a perceived lack of cleanliness. One even went as far as to say that it would be a deal breaker. I found it hard to believe that a great guy could be let go of solely on the basis of what his privates look like. That’s almost like someone dismissing you because of an especially large labia.
As far-fetched as this is, this sentiment is relatively commonplace. I’ve come across forums on the topic, filled with a lot of bad and incorrect information on circumcision and women who have admitted to leaving a guy because they didn’t feel comfortable with his genitals. Some have even asked their partners to consider foreskin removal surgery. Now, I’m all for having preferences and speaking up when it comes to your sexual needs and wants. However, I draw the line at asking someone to have surgery for your comfort. The idea of asking a grown man to rearrange his anatomy to fit some aesthetic mold that society (via porn and old wives’ tales on cleanliness) has imprinted on us is really a sign of the fickle times we are in. Whatever happened to accepting people just as they are?
In having these conversations, it brought me back to an old episode of Sex and the City that has never sat well with me, as well as my own dating history. In one particular episode, Charlotte was seeing a guy who was not a fan of his natural self, so much so that he decided to get an otherwise elective surgery as the consistent feedback he was getting from women was repulsion. As for myself, I dated a guy in my early 20s who happened to be uncircumcised. He had mentioned to me that he was seriously thinking of getting surgery. He’d been turned down by women on multiple occasions who felt his genitals weren’t attractive. I could tell that this weighed heavily on his self-esteem and I did everything I could to provide some positive reinforcement in that regard. To me, it was important to do so. This is no different than the subliminal (and sometimes outright) pressure that women receive that says you have to have a large derriere and bosom in order to be considered sexually attractive. These sorts of message play on the confidence of a lot of men and women alike and usually tend to spur a lot of self-deprecation.
At the end of the day, we as women are allowed to dictate what we want sexually, and I for one will always champion that. However, having a preference when it comes to the look of someone’s anatomy, so much so that anything else is considered a deal breaker, is pretty cold.
How do you guys feel about this? Would you let a good guy go over aesthetics? Are uncircumcised penises that big of a deal?