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Last week, I received a message from a woman who isn’t so sure how to feel when it comes to some information she learned about a guy she’s been seeing. They’ve been getting to know each other for the last few weeks and she likes him, but she doesn’t like his situation. The information? He’s married, but tied the knot with the woman to help her get a green card.

Depending on the circumstances, one might think that doing such a major thing for another person is a noble thing. But in this case, not so much. The guy is helping the woman out big time, but agreed to do so for a few thousand dollars. The woman who sent the message is aware that the marriage is obviously not a serious one. Still, she can’t help but wonder if they’ve exchanged more than money.

Her question was whether or not she should continue getting to know him. Even if it’s not real, he’s married to another woman and that situation could get messy very fast. In fact, it takes years for these types of things to get figured out, and as she asked in her message, what happens if down the line they were to fall in love and want to get married? And what if he gets caught in this lie and ends up having to pay the legal ramifications for it?

She appreciates that he was honest about his situation (not so upfront about it though — he waited two weeks to say something). That doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s here for it, though.

I’m not mad at her. Again, it depends on the situation (if he were helping out a friend in need or something like that, maybe it wouldn’t look so bad), but pursuing a relationship with someone who who is technically committing a crime isn’t really much different than happily dating someone when you’re aware that they’re out here doing white-collar crimes or committing other forms of fraud. Their lifestyle could put them in a pretty bad situation and down the line, get you into some trouble as well. And when I say “pretty bad situation,” I mean a hefty fine or jail time. According to Criminal Defense Lawyer:

Any individual who knowingly enters into a marriage for the purpose of evading any provision of the immigration laws shall be imprisoned for not more than five years, or fined not more than $250,000, or both.

Punishment can also be meted out under Title 18 of the U.S. Code, at Section 1546. This section prohibits, among other things, making false statements under oath. Sentencing under this section starts at ten years for a first or second offense.

Yikes! Not to mention the obvious fact that this woman will be a third party in whatever relationship is formed. They will need to prove that they live together and there will always be someone checking in on their behavior. That could mean that efforts to maintain the facade of a real marriage could be taken more seriously than efforts to maintain his actual relationship with her. In that way, his “wife” will always come first. It’s too much.

However, it’s ultimately up to her. If she likes him a lot and he seems to be into her, which she claims, then she’s going to do what she wants. But three’s company, and entering into a relationship with a man who is married, and committing marriage fraud mind you, sounds like a disaster waiting to happen…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Should she run for the hills or give him a shot? 

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