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I know you read the title and already came to the conclusion that this is not just petty, but enough to win the title of Queen Petty of Pettyville. Still, hear me out.

A friend of mine met a guy not too long ago, and they hit it off quite well. He’s smart, funny and he is pretty handsome. Or at least he was. They have gone on dates every week for the last four months, spent a lot of time together and were making a lot of progress in terms of getting to know each other. And then summer came.

My friend lives in Arizona and you already know it’s hot all year round, but it’s become especially stifling now that the sun is ablaze. So, after months upon months of going strong with a full and very attractive beard, my friend’s prospective boo decided to cut it and let his skin breathe because he was sick and tired of being so hot. Unfortunately, the change was just a little too drastic. During one of our catch-up calls my friend said the change is so extreme, he almost looks like a totally different person.

“I feel like I’ve been bamboozled” she said as I broke out into a laugh. According to her, he is missing the sex appeal that his beard, well-kept and long, gave him. She knew all along that underneath was a sweet guy, but as she would eventually find out, a sweet guy with an “okay” face. She’s since tried to go on outings with him but feels like the fire is becoming harder to keep alive.

I know it sounds pretty ridiculous, the idea of someone possibly having a change of heart about a person or being less attracted to them due to a hair change. But, if we’re being honest, they haven’t known each other that long for such small things to end up being a big deal. And, considering that men give women all types of crap for major hair changes and big chops after meeting them with extensions and longer strands, it’s really not that absurd after all when you compare such esthetical changes.

And, if I may add, ever since #NoShaveNovember became a big deal a few years ago, many women have become pogonophiles and remarked on the reality that a good beard can do wonders for an average-looking guy. I mean, just look at NBA star James Harden (literally look up). There is all kinds of mystery going on behind his beard. When you get rid of it? Well, you end up with a guy who looks like the kid in high school who used to come around asking, “Where’s my hug?”

But at the end of the day, we all know that surface stuff is nowhere near as significant as the way a person, beard or no beard, long hair or TWA, makes you feel internally. I told my friend during our chat that while I could understand her feeling like she was sold a Benz and a car dealership pulled up to her with a refurbished Ford Pinto all of a sudden, it’s the ride that matters. And considering all of the things she told me before he cut his beard, he seems to be a pretty good catch. Plus, a beard can easily grow back. But a good man? We all know hard that is to conjure up…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you say? Is it petty to be turned off by a major esthetic change made by a person you’re dating? Or are major changes in appearance not a good idea when you’re getting to know a person? 


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