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In the era of Lemonade and Sheryl Sandberg, wanting to be a housewife can sound like a cop-out. Nowadays, women are afforded more opportunities to flourish in the workforce, yet other women still choose to build a home instead of clocking into a 9-to-5. And though I’m a Black feminist who actively tries to ensure women are viewed equal to men across the board, if the option presented itself to build a home while my husband was the breadwinner, I would surely take it.
Right around the time Ayesha Curry rattled off a few tweets about women “covering up,” the great freedom of expression in clothing vs. modest woman debate resurfaced, also creating a conversation about career women vs. homemakers, pitting a woman who dumps most if not all the financial responsibility onto her husband as the villain. Because of her opinion, plenty of men wielded Curry, or the idea of her, the prototype; like a weapon against other women. According to those thoughtless trolls, Curry became the criterion women should aim for, and men should take home to mom. She cooks, cleans (from what we can assume), and raises her children all while supporting her husband. Let’s be clear, though. While Curry shouldn’t be considered the model for all women, women who do want to spend more time in the kitchen rather than climbing the career ladder shouldn’t be vilified either. No, wives and mothers don’t have PTO, but it’s a full-time job to manage a family flawlessly; one that’s 10 times harder than any government gig I’m sure. And no, not every woman wants to be a homemaker. But housewife haters be damned, it doesn’t make a woman any less of a fierce feminist if she does.
My friends side-eye me when I tell them I wouldn’t mind making my primary focus taking care of a home and a family. Because of my success as a career woman, they can’t fathom that I’d want to tend solely to a husband or children and not concentrate on professional aims. They assume becoming a homemaker means tossing away my identity and intellect to become a robotic Stepford Wife. However, that’s not the case by any means. Just because I wouldn’t be headed to boardrooms on a regular basis wouldn’t mean that I’d become a hermit in the house watching my “stories.” In fact, women who dedicate their lives to being the nucleus of their household are honorable. I view raising a family and running a successful, healthy unit as a great achievement, one that is neither better nor worse than any job promotion and certainly not one that makes a woman less independent, opinionated, or strong-willed.
Honestly, housewives aren’t just child-rearing cooks who have dinner ready as soon as their husbands come home. In fact, plenty of housewives today have desires and goals they pursue from the comfort of their homes. I know homemakers who have passion projects and busy themselves with organizations that benefit Black communities, especially women. Is that not the kind of work feminists burned their bras to see come to fruition?
The bottom line is, feminism doesn’t come in a one-size-fits-all package. Being a feminist and a housewife is also not mutually exclusive. Whether you’re a stripper, Suzy Homemaker or a CEO, you can still be a woman who strives for equality for women. And if women can have it all as the feminist creed spells out, then that should include however a woman chooses to get it and make her definition of “all” happen.
