Yes, you’ve read the title right I’m a black women with problems that don’t include finding and/or keeping a man. You see I have a man, and while my relationship is not perfect it’s not a problem. And guess what else, I’m not alone.
The media has made it so hard to believe that women, especially black women have other life issues besides hoping to find a decent man and possibly getting married. What about our career struggles, gaining financially stability, dealing with our own personal issues and other life-related things? Aren’t they just as important as a man? I get the fact that topics about men and relationships are popular content angles and generate the most engagement and point of views but this should not be our be all and end all.
Even though living in a world sans man problems may seem like a life of luxury it can also feel lonely. If you happen to be part of this unique population, you can relate to the perks of not having to deal with dating disasters and relationship woes. However, you may find yourself frustrated and annoyed on the inability to get advice on issues that affect your world. In addition to feeling left out by the media, you may often experience isolation from your friends. When the girls get together for ladies night and the topic turns to men you probably won’t have much to contribute since you can’t relate to all of their complaining issues. Then there is the notion that when a woman has a man she is totally problem free. It’s as if having a man makes everything perfect and complete.
Contrary to popular belief there are women who still have problems even with a loving man at home. There are women silently struggling with personal struggles such as insecurities and unresolved childhood issues. Some are dealing with career setbacks, infertility, and money matters. These are real issues that should be addressed just as frequently as “How to Keep/Get/and find a man”. It shouldn’t be that hard to imagine a world with problems that don’t involve men. We must begin to re-program our minds to comprehend that life isn’t just about a relationship. All of our energy should not be placed and centered on just one aspect of our lives.
Problems are inevitable, and some will be worse than others. And like Jay said, if you are having man problems, I feel bad for you sister, we’ve got 99 problems but a man isn’t one.
Do you feel women focus on men too much on not on themselves enough?
