Corbis
I’ve written in the past about the misogynistic antics some men pull at the gym when it comes to not only the stares and comments they direct at women, but in the way some (keyword: SOME) act as though they own certain machines and spaces that are meant to be shared. But men aren’t the only ones who can be a bit impolite and territorial at the gym.
I didn’t realize just how rude some women can actually be in the gym until I spoke with a friend and fellow gym fanatic. During work hours, she would often comment about needing to leave on time so that she could make it to her beloved cardio class early. If she did, she could get a good spot and make the most of her class time as she would get a clear view of her instructor, and, therefore, more motivation. But if she didn’t get there on time, she wouldn’t be able to find a spot, would either be pushed way to the back or would have to sit out and do a lonely machine workout by herself. Because classes can be so motivating when compared to gym sessions where you have to come up with your own plan of action, who wouldn’t want to make it to them and be encouraged by a room full of women (and some men)?
Well, one day she made it to class super early, and for once, was able to stand in the front. But her achievement came at the chagrin of a young woman who usually stands front and center. My friend said that the woman gave her a dirty look, and ended up having to stand in the middle of the room. When the class instructor came in and noticed the regular standing far from her usual spot in the front, he jokingly said to her, “You?! You’re not in the front this week?!” The woman replied, “No…someone took my spot,” shrugging and cutting her eyes toward my friend.
This made my colleague feel like negative eyes were on her, and that she was being made to feel like she didn’t belong in the class–despite the fact that she pays her monthly dues and keeps up with the moves in class just like everyone else.
“And then she tried to come up to me later, knowing that she had been rude talking about, ‘I love your workout pants,'” my colleague said. “I didn’t say anything in response because she was so mean for no reason before. What’s wrong with people?”
And it was during that conversation that I was reminded of the ways in which people, women included, often don’t realize how they can make others feel unwelcome and even unworthy when they’re just trying to get back to being active. This is especially troubling considering that a lot of us struggle to stay encouraged when we’re at the beginning of our health and fitness transformation journeys.
I’ve run into these type of women myself, and interactions with them can definitely be disheartening.
When you ask to stand next to them in an in-demand class (usually Zumba, amirite?), they act as though you’re an annoyance. A big ass nuisance who will keep them from being able to see, or stretch out their limbs as far as they want to. And then there are the women I’ve seen who wait until a class is over, walk up to the customer service desk and then complain about other members who come in a little late, saying, “It’s just rude. They come in and then they want to take up space. Come on time!” Because God forbid your work schedule and commute make you a few minutes late for class…
And I’ve even encountered them in management positions. Like the yoga studio manager who had an attitude because she had to honor the $25 two-week trial deal posted on the business website instead of making me pay what she claimed was the correct $30. As she told the cashier while shaking her head and looking disappointed at the proof I provided her on my phone, “You can give her the $25, but we don’t do this deal anymore.” The woman immediately stopped being friendly and didn’t bother to give me a tour of the place, which she went ahead and did with other people coming in as prospective members. All that shade over $5. Safe to say, when my two-week trial ended, I didn’t bother with a membership.
And I get it. I know that when it comes to consistently going to the gym and taking care of your health, your attention shouldn’t be on what other people say and do. You should go to your facility, do what you need to do, and focus solely on you. However, classes are often what get people off to a strong start and a steady pace with weight-loss goals. They force you to move and push your body in a way you simply don’t when you’re jogging alone or trying to keep up a pace on elliptical machines. Taking multiple classes a week was what helped me drop the pounds, meet my trainer (who taught a kickboxing class), and build muscle last year. And had I consistently been treated like I didn’t belong or been given the side-eyes that I’ve seen some women receive (even in the women-only facilities where support should be standard), chances are, I would have been discouraged from continuing to go and doing the things I needed to so I could finally get myself together.
While we might not need other women to say, “You’ve got this girl!” or to literally embrace us when we step into gym classes or facilities in general, it would be nice if we could offer one another support in our health goals. Even if that just means making space for one another on the dance floor, giving one another a smile in the locker room, or helping one another with a move we just can’t seem to get right in class on our own. Hell, anything other than acting like we own the floor or like our clique runs the gym. Anything other than being a mean girl would help create the healthy environment necessary to get more and more women healthy.
