Can Our Daughters Learn From Our Heartbreak Without Becoming Jaded? Shar Jackson Hopes So
It has been six years since the world first witnessed Shar Jackson make peace with her ex, Kevin Federline, on VH1’s vintage reality show, “Celebrity Fit Club.” Last week, the “Moesha” actress returned to reality television alongside her 20-year-old daughter, Cassie, for Lifetime’s “The Mother/Daughter Project.” On the show, which is somewhat similar to VH1’s “Couples Therapy” with a mother-daughter twist, Shar is tasked with working through the issues that have presented themselves in her relationship with Cassie. Among those issues include how Cassie was affected when Kevin abandoned a pregnant Shar for Brittney Spears. On top of that, Shar is overprotective of Cassie, especially when it comes to love. Shar is quite familiar with the pain that comes with heartbreak and hopes to shield her daughter from it. Obviously, this approach has its benefits as well as its detriments, but hopefully, the duo can learn to move forward in a positive way. Recently, we were able to catch up with Shar, who opened up about the experience as well as her hopes for Cassie’s romantic future.
MN: Tell me about “The Mother/Daughter Experiment” and specifically which issues you’re looking to work through with your daughter?
First off, this whole concept is just bonkers. The thing is, everybody either thinks that they’re a fantastic parent or the worst parent in life. I feel like the biggest thing with me is that Cassie is wise beyond her years. Cassie watched me go through some of the toughest things I’ve ever gone through—ever. I know that it affected her in some sort of way. So my main reason for doing the show is to make her admit and face the things that happened to her when we went through what we through.
MN: Was the show your first attempt at seeking therapy to resolve this issue?
See, I have a psych degree, so I try to do everything in-house. But my kids are like, “That’s not fair, we want to talk to someone else.” So this was the perfect opportunity to do that. Cassie has done therapy on her own before, and I did a little something in “Celebrity Fit Club,” but I’m always analyzing myself all day every day. So, sometimes you need an outside perspective.
MN: Specifically, how do you feel that everything you went through with your ex affected your daughter?
I like to think that she’s a tough kid, and sometimes, that the only part that I focus on. “Oh, my kids are tough. I raised them tough.” But sometimes, you just have a feeling that maybe they don’t handle things the same way you handle them, and I started to notice some things in Cas that I felt that we needed to touch on. I know that the stuff we went through in life definitely affected her and I just needed to hear it. You can’t fix anything if you don’t know it.
MN: Why reality TV?
I think to be in the atmosphere of other like-minded people made it a lot easier for my kids. I raised them to be, unfortunately, very standoffish and very protective when it comes to talking to people and baring their souls. I think I had to do it in a setting where other people who kind of lived the same lives as us were going through it as well. You know, in order for it to feel safe.
MN: What’s one thing that you want Cassie to learn from what you went through with your ex, Kevin Federline?
I want her to be open to love and not be jaded, but also, be smart. Don’t let anybody take advantage of you. I just want to protect her from getting her heart broken, but I do want her to love.
“The Mother/Daughter Experiment” airs on Lifetime on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. EST.