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Years ago, a friend learned that her boyfriend of four years lied about his age. Ol’ boy had her thinking he was about seven years younger than he actually was. Years into their relationship, she stumbled across his driver’s license. And well, the truth came out. I never did find out what his reason for lying was, and I guess at this point, it doesn’t matter. They decided to work through it, and somehow, they were able to overcome the deceit. I thought it to be odd and extremely rare that someone would lie about their age for so long within a relationship, but it seems that this is somewhat common.
Earlier today, a 32-year-old woman, who we’ll call “Janet,” took to Reddit after learning that her boyfriend of 4.5 years, Alex, has been lying about his age. Before the discovery, she was under the impression that he was thirty years old. He’s actually thirty-five. Janet learned about her boyfriend’s ongoing lie when she tried to schedule a getaway and needed him to pick up his passport. Knowing that his lie would probably be exposed because of this, Alex tried to back out of the trip.
He panicked. He said he couldn’t come; I should go without him, he couldn’t afford it, etc. I had only paid the deposit at this point but was very upset as this would have been our first real holiday abroad together, and I had spent my money to do something nice for us that he wouldn’t have to pay anything for.
Anyway, he squirmed and squirmed about it, and I could tell there was something he was not telling me, so I pressed him on it. Then he comes out with it: he has been lying to me for the whole of our relationship about how old he is. When we met, he told me he was two years younger than me. He’s actually three years older.
As for why Alex lied, supposedly, he misspoke on the night they met and never had the courage to correct his mistake.
We met drunk at a party, and he told me the wrong age without thinking and then never knew when to correct it so has let it drag on and on and turn into this massive deal.
Of course, there’s not a huge difference between thirty and thirty-five, but the fact that Alex was capable of keeping a charade like this going for nearly five years is what gives Janet pause.
Now, the age doesn’t bother me one bit. He’s the same person whatever. But I am really struggling to handle him lying about it for the whole time we have known each other. He has had multiple opportunities to tell me (god I even made a big fuss for his “30th,” I feel like such an idiot now) but he never did. Even with the holiday his instinct was to try to weasel out of the holiday rather than tell me the goddamn truth.
Have you ever been in a relationship and learned that your partner kept a lie going for an extended period of time? Did you choose to remain in the relationship or did you peace out?
