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While hanging out and enjoying girl time with my mom this weekend, I learned that Ne-Yo tied the knot with his fiancée, Crystal Renay. As I scrolled through my Instagram feed, I also learned that his children from his previous relationship with ex-fiancée, Monyetta Shaw, did not attend. A couple of fans who were bold enough to ask Monyetta why the children were not at the wedding, and Shaw explained that they had an important appointment that was scheduled way before she was informed that a wedding would be taking place.
Of course, plenty of people criticized the former “Atlanta Exes” star, claiming that the school search was just some sort of front for the fact that she was still bitter about how Ne-Yo left her only to turn around and marry someone else such a short time later. Personally, I believed that Monyetta’s explanation was reasonable. I’ve always liked her, and she has never really struck me as a vindictive person. But people were so convinced that she intentionally kept her children from being present on their father’s big day.
Noticing how engrossed I was in my phone, my mama knew I was being nosy and asked what was up. I quickly filled her in on what was going on.
“So yeah, they think that she purposely kept the kids from the wedding. That’s crazy, right?” I finally concluded, eagerly awaiting her feedback.
“You could be right but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that she did keep them away on purpose,” my mom said bluntly.
“You think so?” I asked her.
“Child, you have a lot to learn,” she said before pausing.
I reclined in the passenger seat of her car and waited. My mother is generally a positive person who always sees the best in everyone, so I knew that some sort of story or life lesson was coming.
“Your brother wasn’t at me and your father’s wedding,” she finally said, referring to the son my father had before they met.
And boom, there it was. As I tried to recall every throwback photo that I’ve ever seen from my parents’ wedding, I quickly realized that she was right. He definitely wasn’t there. I don’t know how I never noticed that before now. I guess I always just assumed that he was there, but just wasn’t around for the photos that I happened to see.
My mother went on to reveal that in the weeks leading up to the wedding, my brother’s grandmother and mother informed my parents that they were not going to allow my brother to attend the wedding. Their reasoning for doing so was pretty silly and quite petty. According to my mom, it threw both her and my father for a loop because everyone had always been semi-cordial with one another. My dad was deeply involved in my brother’s life, and when my mom came along, she and my brother formed a pretty solid relationship as well. Everyone was cool. I can recall my brother and his mom coming to family functions during my childhood. In fact, everyone is still semi-cool. There are times when his mom still calls my parents’ house to chat with them about one thing or another—and my brother is well into his 30s at this point. But somehow, all of that civility temporarily went out of the window when my father decided to take my mother as his wife. And no, there was never any funny business or overlap between my father’s relationship with his ex and his relationship with my mom.
“It’s just like that sometimes,” my mother continued. “We were upset, but we eventually got over it. In situations like that, I want to say that couples should almost brace themselves because people pull stunts like that quite often. That’s life baby.”
While I would certainly hope that this is not what should be expected by those marrying into blended families, it appears that my mom is onto something. After hopping on Google, I realized that this “trend” is actually more common than I’d like to believe. There are so many accounts from brides and grooms who were left heartbroken by the fact that their children weren’t allowed to attend their weddings.
If I had a child with someone and they later decided to get married after our relationship ended, I imagine that it might be a difficult pill to swallow depending on the circumstances; however, I’d like to think that I would take the high road and allow my kids to be there for their dad on his special day.
What about you? Would you keep your kids from attending your ex’s wedding?
