Source: Facebook
The women’s liberation movement helped us out quite a bit. In promoting equality for women in career and the public arena. But what equality looks like in the context of relationships is still a bit fuzzy.
Do women really want to be equal in relationships or do they want to be treated better than their man? For instance, do you want to have to take the trash out? Do you, as the woman want to have to cut the grass? When you hear something go bump in the night, do you want to be the one to go and see what it is? These are very stereotypical examples. But one comedienne on Facebook, Cattina C. Coleman posed a pretty interesting question.
When it comes to bills and dates do you always want to go half?
Think about that for a minute. Always.
You can watch Cattina’s 10 minute video below and then we’ll discuss afterward.
Coleman is talking about a pretty serious relationship here. Either the couple, a man and woman in this instance, are married or they live together. They’re having sex, the woman is taking care of household chores and if they have children she might be the one who stays home to raise them. The relationship is so serious that this same woman might be the one who helps manage the money. So, that helps a bit to frame this whole thing. It’s a committed relationship, not just a casual dating situation.
Coleman argues that if a woman is doing all of that, sex, chores, children, etc, she’s providing too many services, services which she is not financially compensated for, to turn around and then pay half on everything. Her argument is that her worth and contribution as a woman excludes her from contributing financially in the relationship.
She takes it a step further by saying any man who would be ok with his woman paying for half of everything is a man looking for a roommate, not a partner. And since she is doing all of that extra stuff, like sucking d*ck and washing dishes, he shouldn’t even feel comfortable asking her to go half. Like he wouldn’t feel comfortable asking a roommate to perform sexual favors.
To me, it’s a bit of a stretch. For the most part, I believe in equality in the household. Equality with chores. It’s ok for a man to wash dishes after you cooked. And it’s okay for you to clean out the garage or cut the grass. I’m not really here for gender-specific chores. Though I don’t want to take out the trash. To me, equality means we each do what we do well to make sure everything is taken care of, however that plays out.
And as far as bills, I don’t see anything wrong with couples going half. After you’re married or in a committed type situation. That’s just fair. When it comes to extracurriculars, should a man always be the one to pay, no? Should the both of you always go half? No to that too.
When you love someone you’re not looking at the relationship like a business move. Once you get past the “getting to know you stage,” you’re not keeping score of who’s spent more. Sometimes he treats you, sometimes you treat him. And sometimes y’all split it. When you truly care about someone, you don’t want to feel like every time y’all go out, he’s the only one that’s going to be digging in his pockets, blowing money. Then taking you out can become a strain or a burden.
Furthermore, you don’t have sex with someone or offer a blow job because he paid a bill. That’s called prostitution. Hopefully, you do those things because you love someone.
What do you think about the idea of going half on everything with a man. Does it mean that he’s lacking in some area or is it just about fairness?
