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Staying connected with your partner is a task that requires constant effort even in the least stressful times. But here we are, just off of the holidays, and in recovery mode before Valentine’s Day and winter break for school-aged children. Between getting back into our normal schedules, working on our personal resolutions, getting kids back in the swing of things, it’s easy to let the connection slip. Whether you are married and live with your spouse, are living separately or are in a long-distance relationship, it is imperative to stay connected when life gets hectic.

Life gets busy sometimes. It’s a fact. It happens…and it’s going to happen again. We all have busy seasons at work, midterm or finals time in school and other periods and events that just clog up our schedules and make connecting with your partner harder than before.

These three tips can help you stay connected with your partner even during your busiest times:



Create a Daily Check-in Ritual

What is your usual mode of communication during the day? Whether you’re married and cohabitating, or even doing a long-distance relationship, there is a “norm” when it comes to communication. Determine your relationship’s style, and add in a daily ritual that compliments it.

For example. My husband and I text intermittently throughout the day while he’s at work and I’m working from home with the kids, but lately he’s added a quick call to check in during his lunch break when he’s heading to the gym. It’s a quick call, not even five minutes usually, but it let’s me know he’s thinking about me and the children and helps us stay connected. Do you speak to each other during the day? If not, a quick text to check in can go a long way. Figure out the daily ritual that suits your relationship best and try it today.



Plan a Date Night (or a few)

Keeping connection high during busy or stressful times is even better with face to face communication. Pamela Swear-King, co-founder of Still Dating My Spouse, says “It’s imperative that couples schedule time to connect, communicate, and have fun with their spouse. Date night allows couples to escape the “normal” day to day routines, but it also affords the couples the opportunity to focus on each other and their marriage.” With the busy social calendars, and work related events date nights can get pushed aside. Don’t let them!  Plan date nights, well in advance, and schedule them into your calendar or your planner and treat them as you would an important business meeting.

Use All The Technology

Facebook, Skype, Snapchat, Instagram, Google Hangouts, Text, Twitter, Phone, Facetime, email…what am I missing? (probably several) These social networks are everywhere. Choose your favorites and make use of them with your partner. A married friend of mine uses Instagram’s direct messaging to send short videos to her husband while they’re both at work.

Combining schedules using Google calendar or a similar tool is another way technology can help you and your partner stay connected. You don’t have to do the same activities at the same time, but you’ll be able to know what your partner’s week looks like before you suggest an activity. Being able to view each other’s pockets of free time enables you to better plan that date night, squeeze in some unplanned together time, or just meet up for a quick lunch.

How do you stay connected with your partner during busy times?

Danielle Faust is the founder of, a wellness site by and for Black women. She is also the voice behind the lifestyle blog and Cohost of the Moms & Biz Show. The married mom of two is a certified life coach helping busy women redesign their lifestyles to live healthier and happier.

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