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Bachelor Party


(As Told To Lauren R.D. Fox)

Two years ago, I married the love of my life, Terrence, and our marriage has been smooth sailing for the most part with a occasional bumps in the road. Usually, our fights are petty and revolve around dirty dishes or Terrence forgetting to put the toilet seat down. Despite this and our usual banter, as of late, I’ve been feeling quite resentful towards my husband.

The reason is Terrence’s fraternity brother is getting married in July and he and their mutual friends have planned a bachelor party in the Dominican Republic. When Terrence told me about the party and its destination last year, I didn’t think twice about it. However, once I told my sister and best friends about his impending trip, doubt started to fill my mind.

“Girl, you would be a fool to let your man go to DR by himself, much less with his frat brothers” my sister casually said as she cut into her steak during our weekly  dinners. When I thought it couldn’t get any worse, my friends added more fuel to the fire. After hearing the news, they began to send me exposés about men who travel to the Dominican Republic (DR) to have sex with women. Although my husband has been faithful throughout our entire relationship, you can’t put anything past anyone — especially when peer pressure gets in the mix.


I told Terrence my concerns and, although he understood them, it wasn’t long before we started arguing about trust. Like I said, we’ve never had any fidelity issues, but whenever I’m around his frat brothers, they speak about their “golden” college years and my stomach twists into knots. It’s safe to say my husband enjoyed himself with many types of women before settling down with me. And while I’m sure that part of his life is over, I don’t necessarily trust the men who he calls “brothers.” To make things more complicated, I recently learned I’m five weeks pregnant and I don’t want to spend a portion of my pregnancy being worried about our marriage.

I told Terrence he is not allowed to go on the trip since I’m pregnant and it would be selfish of him to leave me at home while he frolics on the beach. He thinks I’m being unreasonable since both of our parents live 20 minutes away from our house and someone can stay with me while he is away. He makes a valid point, but as his wife I believe I should always come first. And even though he agrees, Terrence no longer speaks to me about the trip, even if I inquire about it.

Currently, I am even more infuriated then I was before and I don’t know what to do. Should I let my husband have fun with his boys in DR or is that trip asking for trouble?


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