If you want to get technical, I’ve had roommates all of my life. I went from living with my parents, then off to college where I had roommates. I’ve lived with my boyfriend, and as a single woman, I have lived in shared apartments with other women. There are some upsides to having a roommate, like splitting the cost of utilities, cable, Internet, and most importantly, rent. There’s an abundance of shared food unless you buy your absolute favorite things and make them off limits to others. There’s never a lonely moment because you always have someone to talk to, and it makes for a more lively environment. All these things sound good, but now that I’m in my mid-20s and not far from 30, I feel I am too old for roommates. Why? For the simple reason that there’s never a moment where I am truly alone. I am sharing space, which means that I have to compromise. I can’t decorate how I want, and I always have to consider someone else before I make household decisions. I’ve realized that there are a plethora of reasons why I am too old for flatmates, roomies, and/or bedfellows. Here’s why I need to ride solo.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
I’m young, and I am on the market for dating, as is my roommate. Still, I respect my space enough not to bring men back with me. If things don’t work out, I don’t want them to know where I live. However, some people are a bit more free than others. Imagine waking up early in the morning to make a cup of coffee or tea. You still have crust in your eyes and last night’s makeup is smeared all over your face because you were either too lazy or too tired to wash it off. You only have a T-shirt on, and as you’re making your way down the stairs to the kitchen, you see a strange man sitting on the couch staring at you. He doesn’t speak or anything, and it is the most awkward five seconds of silence ever. You hurry up and make your tea, running back in your room where you stay for the remainder of the day.
Yes, this really happened.
I mean, we’re grown, we date, it’s a part of life. But it’s also common courtesy to let your roommate know when you will have a guest over who will be occupying public spaces. It would also help so you’ll know whether to wear headphones to prevent yourself from hearing the morning delights taking place in the adjacent room. Having a roommate, you have to consider these things. It’s liberating living away from your parents, but when you have a roommate, there are still a few restrictions. Same goes for walking around in your birthday suit. Even in terms of dating and getting serious with someone, you want to be able to navigate those intimate spaces with that person, but you have to keep in mind that you aren’t the only person occupying your place of residence.
The Weakest Link
We joke about how we always have that one broke friend who always want to go out and do stuff. Well, it’s funny until they become that broke roommate who can never pay their expenses on time. And depending on whose name these bills are in, it could mean some pretty hostile situations. Again, the upside to having a roommate is supposed to be the splitting of utilities, cable, Internet and most importantly, rent. But the downside is splitting these expenses with people who are struggling financially. My landlord once told me that if for some reason you feel like you can’t afford something then you shouldn’t get it. And I know that it’s time for me to go after having to continuously get utilities and other apartment expenses put in my name. I figure if I can afford to pay my rent and pick up someone else’s slack then why not just live alone?
Pet Peeves
When having a roommate, there are just shared responsibilities that people need to be aware of. For example, washing the dishes or taking out the garbage and cleaning the public spaces are just things you should both do. I’ve learned that everyone has a different cleaning style. Some clean as they go, some pick a day or time to devote to cleaning and some just don’t clean at all. I realized I was too old for a roommate when I started to clash with one because of our different cleaning styles.
I also like having and entertaining guests, but I also love my alone time, which involves peace and quiet. I can’t always get that, and I can’t really get too mad about it because that’s what happens when you live with someone. And just as I have the freedom and choice to be quiet, my former roommate had the choice and freedom to be loud.
All in all, I could go on for days sharing nightmare stories about living with people, but these are the things that helped me realize I am too old for this s–t and better off living on my own. What did it take for you to get proactive and move out on your own? Do you have any nightmare roommate stories?
