While in Las Vegas earlier this week, I made the poor decision to wear heels as I walked up and down the strip with colleagues. I initially put on my Calvin Klein heels and sheath dress for an event that was only supposed to last a few hours. But I wasn’t prepared for my associates to propose that we take a walk and go grab pizza at a hotel and casino that was 15 minutes away. I underestimated everything, and I walked. And walked. And then I limped. My corns still haven’t forgiven me. But that’s the struggle one has to deal with when you want to step out in style and forget to bring a pair of flats with you.
Like the woman who went out on an extra special date with my sister’s coworker. The guy, who we’ll refer to as Eric for the time being, took a woman he had been dating for a month or so with him to the wedding of a friend. After the ceremony, friends and family of the bride and groom reported to the reception hall where they prepared to eat, drink, dance and be merry. You know, the usual stuff. After dancing a bit too long and hard (I’m assuming) in her heels, the feet of Eric’s date began to hurt. If you’ve done too much too soon in a pair of even moderately high heels, you know the kind of pain I’m referring to. That full-on ache. So when Eric and the woman returned to their seats to catch their breath, she did what many of us wish to do but our scared to when we’re out in public: she took off her shoes. Yes, she took off her shoes, let her dogs breath, curled up her toes and was feeling better in no time flat. But her decision to take off her shoes irked the hell out of Eric for some reason.
A (very) quick backstory here: According to my sister, Eric is a little bourgeoise. Not just in who he dates but in everyday life. How he carries himself. The foods he will and won’t eat at work functions. It’s kind of what he’s known for in their office.
So imagine the sheer horror in his eyes when Eric spotted this woman’s bare feet on the ground. And she didn’t hide the fact that her feet were uncovered, joking about it with a fellow female partygoer. And at one point, she even stood up when her song came on during the reception, doing a two-step with her pedicure out for the world to see. Eric wasn’t feeling it, and in fact, he was a bit disgusted with homegirl. So disgusted that he let her know so when they got back to the car to drive home.
“So you were just going to take your shoes off like that? Really? C’mon now. That’s not really ladylike.”
*record scratches*
That’s right. A man told a woman that her behavior wasn’t the proper etiquette of an individual of the fairer sex. Because he’s a woman and knows the right way to act.
Oh, wait…
This statement created a small argument between the two. The specifics of which, Eric didn’t divulge to my sister at work the next week. But he did tell her that after not being 100 percent sure about where he saw things going with this woman, he was now damn near 100 percent sure that he didn’t want to take things to the next level. There were small habits here and there that he’d overlooked during their month together in an effort to get to know her. But her choice to go barefoot at his boy’s wedding? The last straw.
I don’t really think men understand how hard and uncomfortable it can be to wear heels for more than an hour or so. Hence the reaction of my coworker when I told him this story, and he replied, in the joking way that he does everything, calling the shoeless woman a “savage.” But as someone who just told you that my dogs were howling after just a few hours of fake stunting in Vegas, I can totally get the struggle. Yet, I can also get confusion another coworker felt over why this woman didn’t bring a pair of flats with her. I can even low-key get Eric’s choice not to take things to the next level with her. They’re clearly not the right fit for one another.
But what I don’t get is the choice to question her womanhood over some tight toes. Just as men don’t want women telling them what makes them a “real man,” it’s unfair to come out of left field and say that she’s less of a so-called proper lady because she wanted to give her feet a break. Want her to put her shoes back on? Tell her that you will give her a foot rub when you leave the reception. Joke about it. Do anything other than insulting the hell out of her. Because, at the end of the day, I doubt that her actions were done in an effort to embarrass him, but rather, to obtain some brief relief.
He wasn’t wrong for feeling some type of way about her decision to go barefoot, but his reaction was quite petty. Geez. What does it take for a chick to get a break from her high heels without a man trying to step on her toes…?
But as always, that’s just my opinion. Who do you think was petty in this situation?
