Serious Question: Could You Ever Befriend The Other Woman?

September 8, 2015  |  

I’m sure that I was one of the many women who yelled “Are you kidding me?” after watching Mimi Faust thank Joseline Hernandez during the “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” reunion for saving her friendship with Stevie J by sleeping with him while they were still together. The apparent attempt to mend fences came shortly after viewers learned that the women were intimate with one another at some point and Hernandez apologized to Faust.

In a recent interview with Mara the Hip Hop Socialite, Faust explained why she felt the need to publicly praise Hernandez for sleeping with her man. According to the mom and entrepreneur, she was just tired of the constant back and forth and wanted to put an end to things with the “Kumbaya” moment.

“I was just tired of the B.S. – I was just tired of it. And for some reason, she seems to think or thought that I was mad or ‘You mad ’cause I took your man; I took your n*gga.’ And I’m like, ‘Sweetie, are you serious?’ This is what she…you know, ‘You just mad I took your man.’ I’m like, ‘Girl.’ I just had to let her know, and I needed to let the rest of the world know, this ain’t that, I’m not mad at that, I haven’t been mad at that in a very long time. And I was just tired of, you know, she’ll make something seem a way to the public, and I was just like, no, this ain’t that, Lord Jesus. And actually Jesus took the wheel.”

While it seems that the possibility of an actual friendship forming between Faust and Hernandez is still up in the air at this point, I got to wondering just how common scenarios like this one—minus the threesome—actually are. I began to think about “Love & Hip Hop New York” cast members Amina Buddafly and Tara Wallace, who were also able to forge some kind of relationship with one another after years of feuding over the same man. Then, of course, I had to reflect on my own situation. During my late teens, I was in a relationship with a young man from my church who I later found out was essentially seeing several other women in our jurisdiction—including one young woman who joined our church shortly after I discovered that I wasn’t the only one. Things ended once I learned about all of the foolishness, but I was still forced to be in his and her presence on a weekly basis. Well, either that or leave the church I’d attended since childhood. One day, I grew weary with feeling sick to stomach at the mere sight of her and decided that I would get past the betrayal and my teenage heartbreak by being kind to her despite the circumstances that led her to my church. Of course, it was difficult at first because I felt extremely vulnerable and exposed—and she wasn’t the most pleasant lily in the pasture either. But on the tough days, I would just keep reminding myself that I was doing this for my emotional wellbeing and personal growth. My kindness eventually wore her down and by some form of miracle, we were able to forge an actual friendship after we both cut romantic ties with the young man. That was six or seven years ago, and she and I are still great friends to this day.

I’m now happily engaged to the love of my life, and I can honestly say that I’ve grown tremendously from that experience. So although Mimi seemed slightly off when she thanked Joseline, perhaps that’s what she needed to do in order to get past this situation.

So ladies, could you ever (or have you ever) befriend(ed) the other woman?

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