In my last article, What Men Really Think About Sex, I mentioned how many grown men look at the art of intimacy. I noted what really goes through a man’s mind when he’s about to get some steamy loving. Although sex is a major part of relationships, there is another activity that men seldom like to discuss – falling in love. Yes moms, it’s a scary topic for us to discuss openly, because we often fail at expressing ourselves clearly during the process. Men are sensitive creatures. We fear being hurt as much as you do. Yet, we are often responsible for most of the hurting in relationships. Nonetheless, the hunter and pride within allows us to conceal our feelings better than women, and truly, we are sorry for that. As a grown man who has matured from a series of failed unions, at 40 years-old, I am more confident when it comes to discussing these critical love topics, because I think we can win at the love game – if we understand how to play it.
In this article: When A Grown Man Falls In Love, I want to dive into the deep and often murky waters of love, and what many men go through when they start falling. Just because sex with a woman is great and their oral game is on point does not mean a man will fall – foolishly at that. In his eyes, what he has with a woman may just be a sex thing – which is not always a bad thing. That’s it – a continuous sex arrangement that may ride out for weeks and months with little expectations involved. If an arrangement starts getting into years without a formal commitment, there is love there, but with conditions. You may not reach the altar, but the union does have some sort of meaning. Both of you may be comfortable with each other. You may be each others rock during similar trials like a breakup or some other life drama.
Listen, I was married for a short period of time and I’m now divorced. Since the demise of my marriage, I’ve had a variety of relationships. Some of those situation-ships were more intense than others. In a few, I felt a love, or indeed I fell in love. However, many of those relationships hit a dead end because I ran from love. Because of my failed marriage and other failed relationships, I was too afraid to accept the benefits of what love could be without my insecurities. Now that I have things in perspective and have learned from many of my mistakes, I’m here to help moms understand those signals that their significant others are sending when they start falling for you, if they haven’t already:
Let’s goooo!!!!! 9 Signs A Grown Man Is Falling In Love
1) The number one sign you should look out for is TIME. When a man starts paying you more attention or he uses any open time he has to be with you – he’s starting the falling process. He is using time to build your unit. Again moms, time is everything. That’s how you visualize the difference in a man.
2) Another sign that a man is falling is when he starts attending to the things that you say he usually does not do. For example: he starts going to the mall with you or he may hit the park with you and the kids. He may arrange day trips with just you! When he does that, he’s trying to take you out of mommy mode for a second, so he can just absorb you.
3) This is a key alert: When a man is digging you – your conversations become more intense, deep, and often relaxed. There isn’t a lot of talk about the relationship that you are building, because it’s obvious that you are in one without the words being spoken.
4) Men are often reserved. When a man starts to become way more open with you, he’s feeling a level of trust, which is important. At this point, he does not just see you as his wife or girlfriend. In fact, he sees you as his partner that he can be silly with or do business with. He’ll seek out your opinions on matters that may not even concern you.
5) Moms, if your significant other’s time is limited, he will send frequent text or video messages to keep up with you and your day. Many times the messages will let you know that you are thought of and appreciated. Also, during the communicating process, a man may vent more with you, so you can comfort him.
6) When a man is falling he becomes more transparent and honest. He’ll tell you about personal things that he does not just share with anyone.
7) Call us territorial! When a man is falling for a woman, he does not want to know or even think about another man in his woman’s vicinity. Men don’t want to think about another man having sex with his lady or spending time with her. He also does not want to hear the stories about another man trying to get at her either.
8) When a man starts being more mushy and sensitive towards you is a clear sign that he is catching feelings for you. When he starts being more of a Mr. Nice Guy or being more playful with you – he’s getting open. Also, a man will become more concerned about whatever drama is going on in your life. If there is any, he will try to voice his opinion on your situation. He is more interested in turning your frowns into smiles, because he is now a part of you.
9) Next to time, friend and family connections are a sure sign that a man is in head first. Men usually don’t bring just any woman around their friends or family/kids for that matter. So, if you are dating and both have children and he asks when you two should introduce the children to one another or he introduces you to his – instantly you should smile. You two have a love thing going down.
Randy ‘Wood’ Ritchwood is an East Orange, New Jersey resident and a divorced father of 4. He is also a serial businessman, restaurant owner, real estate owner, and the former reality star of ‘I Love New York.’ ‘Wood’ as he is often addressed, is also the 2005 winner of Oxygen’s show ‘Mr. Romance.’ To spice up Mommynoire from a man’s perspective, he will be contributing a weekly column targeting sex, intimacy, dating, marriage, baby mamas, and divorce challenges. In his eyes: “Remember, I’m not your doctor, I’m not your therapist, I’m just your man ‘Wood’ Randy Ritchwood.”