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Love Lesson: How to attract more love abundance

When we hear the word “abundance” we assume that this just means attracting money. However, the state of feeling and living an abundant lifestyle means much more than just the green stuff. Feeling truly abundant means also feeling filled with love. After all, love is just energy and so is money. Many of us have noticed that when we feel starved and poor in the pockets we also feel poor in love.

How we do anything is how we do everything. So it’s time to cast off that old poor, desperate, broken-down feeling. There’s no room for it in your dream life. Let’s change our thoughts and change our lives to create and attract more love.

Imagine a love switch. Just like we turn on a light switch and the room floods with light, we can each turn on our love switches. This switch is in our brains, however, and involves how we see ourselves and how we view our lives. As Albert Einstein said, “There are two ways to live. You can live as if nothing is a miracle or you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

We all have the power to become magnets for love, abundance and all of our desires.

Seven juicy ways to attract more love into your life:

1. Notice love.

It’s not hard to notice the lack of love. Our favorite gossip blogs and shows cover every celebrity breakups. Our besties bring us every misstep in love gone wrong and we do the same. It can be more common to share with our friends the things we don’t like about our relationships rather than the things we do like. We are all moved by human drama.

The key is to make a shift and try paying attention to loving couples when you’re out and about, positive portrayals of love and attraction. Talk about the good men over the supposed dogs. Allow yourself to feel good about love. It’s not just noticing love when it’s in front of you, it’s the soul-stirring, juicy emotion that accompanies the observation that helps create the feelings of love abundance in your own life.

If you are already in a relationship, pay attention to what you are noticing and affirming about your partner. We tend to notice all of the ways that it doesn’t work and what we focus on increases. Every time you point out to yourself or someone else something that annoys you about your partner also point out something you love. To receive more love you must be 100 percent thankful for the love you have. If you want to become a positive love magnet notice love, feel love, affirm love and be grateful for love.

2. Visualize Love.

How to attract more love? Well, your imagination can be your best friend if you want to become a love magnet. It can also be your worst enemy. Life has taught so many of us to squash our dreams. Instead of hoping for big, bold happy love we think, “I’ll just take what I can get.” No. Do not settle. [Check out my recent dialogue here with Tinzley Bradford, the Settle-Free Dating Coach.]

You can make a vision board or just use your imagination. Start with picturing a love even more wonderful than you can imagine. Again, if you’re already in a relationship you can still do this exercise. See yourself happy and in love with the perfect mate. If your mind can’t go there your reality can’t go there.

Sometimes we’re too afraid to even state our dreams out loud. We fear we’ll be ridiculed or shot down. We get scared that we may build our hopes up too high and then come crashing down to earth. Falling is okay because if you build your dreams high enough you can still land in the clouds or at least on a roof somewhere! Again, if your imagination needs help, cut out photos of loving couples and surround yourself with them. Then picture yourself in that same energy.

3. Speak love into your life. 

Language is very important. You may very well be talking yourself out of the love abundance you claim you want. Pay close attention to your words. If you use phrases like, “with my luck…” and “I’m so stupid that…” you are doing yourself a tremendous disservice. You are programming your unconscious mind that you are unlucky and inferior. If you are unlucky and inferior, how can you then create your best life or love?

Think of every word you speak about your life as a spell. Every word that comes out of your mouth is an affirmation. Maybe even put yourself on a diet of positive words to counteract the negativity of everyday life. Read love affirmations before bed to reprogram your mind for love.

4. Be the lover you wish to attract.

If you made a list of what you’re looking for in a mate, would you posses all of the qualities on that list? And if no, then why not? A better question is, then why would that ideal person be with you? Like Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see,” I say be the love you wish to have.

5. Treat yourself as your dream partner would treat you.

If you want to be a magnet for love, you have to learn the arts of unconditional self-love and radical self care. No one will ever treat you better than you treat yourself because we teach people how to treat us. And if by some chance you find someone who is treating you better than you treat yourself you will get rid of them because you won’t think that you really deserve it. Pamper yourself. Love your entire self.

Feed your mind, body and soul as if you were divine and fully deserving; because you are.

6. Take action to find love.

Get out of your living room. If you want to be a love magnet you need to live your life. Sitting on your couch is not going to cut it. Let people know you’re on the market, join a gym or a team, try speed dating or online dating, take a cooking or language class. You’ll meet cool people and most of them won’t be your soul mate but that’s OK. You are priming the pump and making your life more juicy. Action is key to being an irresistible love magnet.

7. Love the ones you’re with.

Enjoy the people in your life right now. If you want more love it is essential that you become more loving. Instead of asking how can I get more love ask how can I give more love. Call up that aunt who has been going through a bad time and show her some compassion. Give a smile to that exhausted mom on the subway. You can’t walk around like a love-starved bitter chick and expect love to find you.

Close your eyes and see yourself the way I see you: as a happy, loving, juicy, love-filled Sacred Bombshell. Go forth, go love and multiply — and then multiply that love. That’s how you attract more love in your life. Now there’s the real law of love and attraction in action.

Abiola Abrams is the author of the award-winning guide The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love and founder of, where she offers empowerment coaching. Her previous column was about how a mompreneur turned feeling ugly into a beautiful business. Read it here.

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