If I had a dollar for every time I’ve walked down the street and been bombarded by catcalls only to ignore them and then be publicly insulted, I’d probably be up there with Oprah Winfrey in dollars. I’d be rolling in cash. In my interactions with guys on the streets, in relationships, and just in general, I’ve learned that the male ego is just as fragile as a raw egg. When cracked, things just get messy. This is true in all facets of life, including for men in the public eye.
For example, after learning about Ciara’s vow of celibacy with current boyfriend, Russell Wilson, rapper Future came out of nowhere to try and dump on his ex. He did multiple interviews dishing on some of his most intimate moments with Ciara, even going as far as to state that God didn’t tell him to wait to have sex with her, and that they would pray after doing the deed. He also decided to finally explain why their engagement didn’t work out, and of course, he made it seem like it was because she was forcing him to be someone he wasn’t meant to be. Future even publicly scolded Ciara’s parenting skills. He questioned her decision to allow her new beau to be around their son. He said that if he was a kid and his mother had a man pushing his stroller who wasn’t his father, he would’ve “jumped out the stroller and slapped the sh*t out of him.” After months and months of silence, Future decided to crash the party. Did I mention that he was in the midst of promoting a new album?
The male ego is easily scarred and only time can heal wounds. But in the entertainment industry, a man’s bruised ego can quickly produce an ugly diatribe aimed at the same woman he once claimed to love. Take Jason Derulo for example. Even after a very public and nasty split from singer Jordin Sparks last year, Derulo still has a lot to say to the media about how much he is over her and how she is “so behind him.” All this despite the fact she’s the one who has moved on and found herself in a new relationship. In a recent interview with DuJour, Derulo downplayed his three-year relationship with Sparks, which inspired quite a few love songs, including “Marry Me.” He said, “I don’t think true love can be broken so I don’t think I’ve found it yet.”
And let’s not forget the kings of the clap back: Kanye West, Tyga and Wiz Khalifa. One minute they’re in love and the next they have nothing but hurtful things to say about their exes in the media. Suddenly, Amber Rose is a ho and bad mother who you have to take multiple showers after being with, and Blac Chyna has no ambition. Unfortunately, the media eats this kind of dirt for breakfast, but do we ever stop to think about the women catching all of the heat?
Women get bad raps and sadly we always have. We get labeled as sensitive, insecure and high-maintenance. When we’re upset, we get labeled as angry and bitter. But the men we love who trash us on the way out of our lives are guilty of being just as sensitive, insecure, angry and bitter.
Of course, men put up a tough exterior like nothing phases them, but give them a dose of their own medicine (or better yet, move on and be happy!) and they crumble. They break down and turn up just as easily as women.
Celebrities aside, we’ve all found ourselves in front of the moving train that is the male ego when it’s bruised. No one likes to be hurt or publicly humiliated, but men channel their pain in some very vindictive, destructive and dangerous ways. Black women are often accused of being angry, but men, whether on the way out of a relationship or simply looking for some play on the street, can be full of anger.
As for my stressful walks to and from work, some days I find myself nervous about saying “no” to a catcall coming from the guy who spends his days loitering in front of the bodega. I don’t want to be called a b***h or some other hurtful name. Or worse. So I’m left to turn up my headphones, walk with my head down and wonder, when will men learn how to check their egos?
