Is This Petty? My Man Won’t Travel With Me, But He’s Mad I’m Going Abroad With Friends

July 17, 2015  |  

I’m a lover of all things travel. Ever since I was young, I’ve traveled with my family: for work, for family functions, for leisure. Within the first 10 years of my life, I journeyed across most of the continental United States and did so in the back of a Ford Aerostar van. My parents always encouraged us to get out there and see the world, so my passport has been stamped with adventures since I was 12. But the man I love? He’s not that into traveling, and that’s a bummer. One woman who can relate to this struggle is a friend of one of my BFFs. The young lady, who we’ll refer to as Delicia, is also in a relationship with a man who doesn’t wish to travel far and wide and see what other places and cultures have to offer. He’s just not the adventurous type. And while it would be one thing if that were just the way he did things while still encouraging Delicia to travel, he actually hasn’t been so supportive.

Delicia said that earlier this month, she approached her boyfriend about traveling with her for her birthday, which is in September. She signed up for a few popular travel sites and was getting inside information about some great “glitch” deals. She recently found a roundtrip flight to Brazil for around $500 (score!) and wanted to have a romantic trip for her big day with her man. She wanted to get her Snoop Dogg and Pharrell in the “Beautiful” video on.

But while she started making plans in her head, her boyfriend dragged his feet. He had quite a few excuses as to why he wasn’t so sure about the excursion:

“Is it safe like that over there? I’ve seen City of God…”

“September is a pretty busy time for the company, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get the time off.”

And even with a roundtrip price of around $500, a steal, he was trying to complain about the costs. When she expressed her discontent with his inability to hop on such an opportunity, he responded with, “Ill see what I can do and get back to you.” When she asked when that would be, he just said, “soon.”

But the thing with glitch deals is that you can’t be too hesitant. Wait long to jump on a deal and you will find it out sold out in no time flat.

Always having an affinity for Brazil and the culture, Delicia said there was no way she could miss out on the deal. So she asked her boyfriend if he was down one more time, two days after originally filling him in on the deal. When he continued to play coy about whether or not he was going to take part, she made up in her mind that she was going without him.

Delicia called up a couple girlfriends, including my BFF. They all jumped on the deal and bought tickets, and now everyone is planning to act a fool in Sao Paolo come September. But someone acting a fool about it right now is Delicia’s boyfriend.

When she told him her new plans, and her excitement about the trip, Delicia’s boyfriend wasn’t pleased. He didn’t like the idea of Delicia going abroad with her friends when she had made it seem like it was an experience she wanted the two of them to have together. Plus, he never explicitly told her that he didn’t want to go or wasn’t going. He claimed he had been actively trying to see what he could do about taking part in this romantic getaway she initially wanted. The fact that she went behind his back and opted to include her girlfriends while shutting him out bothered him.

But in Delicia’s mind, what was she supposed to do? Miss out on a significant opportunity so that she could sit around and wait for him to get it together? He was very short with her for a few days after she told him the news. This irritated the hell out of her. “I ended up telling him that at the end of the day, I love him, but I don’t want to be held back when it comes to doing things that are important to me.” It became a conversation out what the future would hold for them and her travel aspirations. He responded by telling her that he’s just not into trying to go on lavish trips like her all the time, as that money could be used elsewhere. Plus, it’s just not his thing. The two got into a big row and haven’t really talked much over the last few days. There’s something about telling folks “You’re holding me back!” that just doesn’t make for a pleasant conversation…

While I can understand why Delicia’s man feels salty, he isn’t really being fair. She told him about the deal and that they would need to act fast, and yet, he took his sweet time. By doing so, he found a way to make something that was supposed to be about her and her birthday, about him. If he couldn’t afford to go or just didn’t want to, he should have said something.

While we would all like to travel with the people we love, when you really want to do something, you make it happen by any means necessary–and that’s what Delicia did. If she would have sat back and waited for him, she would have missed out and been resentful. She probably should have told her boyfriend she was going to proceed without him, but hey, when you snooze, you lose…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you think? Is Delicia’s boyfriend being petty? Or did Delicia go about things the wrong way?

 

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