Why You Shouldn’t Be Giving Boyfriends And Girlfriends Husband And Wife Privileges

March 18, 2015  |  

Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. They both like each other and want to get to know one other better so they start the process. Calling, texting, dating, sexing, so on and so forth. Then one day they look up and find themselves going full speed ahead in an exclusive relationship that has brought about unexpected responsibilities.

After being together for some time, many couples who’ve taken on titles tend to take their relationship expectations to a much higher level. They expect their mate to take on the role of “hubby” or “wifey” without realizing it, and this shouldn’t be the case. Don’t get me wrong, the whole point of dating is to find someone to commit to and settle down with, but a lot of people settle down long before they actually make things official.

Some couples do it because they want to spend their lives together but say that they aren’t quite ready to take the plunge. Others do it because they want to prove to one another that they are worthy of a lifetime commitment, so they’re simply testing the waters. And sometimes, one spouse does the most in order to prove that they should be their significant other’s Mrs. or Mr.

When two people have been together for a very long time they get comfortable and slip into marriage mode without the ceremony, anticipating certain privileges that they shouldn’t receive just yet. For instance, a boyfriend shouldn’t assume that his girlfriend will have home-cooked meals regularly prepared for him. If she wants to do that for him, that’s fine, but that’s a task for a wife or mother. He also shouldn’t expect her to give him sex on demand, or do household chores. A girlfriend shouldn’t expect her boyfriend to pay all of the bills she created on her own. She also shouldn’t expect him to take charge of her life in certain areas.

I understand the idea of doing what you need to in order to keep the spice in your relationship and show your support. However, you have to know where to draw the line so that you won’t succumb to being a “play” husband or wife and start to feel taken advantage of. So if you find yourself slipping into the “hubby” or “wifey” role, take a step back and evaluate what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do in order to convince your significant other that you’re “worthy”: You can fold all the underwear, cook all the meals, and pay all the bills your your heart desires. If someone wants to be with you for the long haul, they’ll commit to you. No need to play house.

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For and an advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin

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