For years, the idea of cutting my hair was a huge no-no. I was running scared from the shears.
I used to watch Tyra Banks’ “America’s Next Top Model” and shutter along with the unfortunate young woman chosen to go from luscious, cascading locks, to damn near bald. I related the process to essentially being scalped–very dramatic I know, but this was high school, and just the sight of scissors for a trim terrified me.
It also didn’t help that friends and family would scare me into not cutting my hair. They would shoot down any hairstyle change I would bring up that had to do with a cut. I can remember wanting to cut my hair and immediately getting shut down by everyone – including my stylist at the time. To all of them, long hair is beautiful, and only those who can’t grow it are trying to chop their hair off. After getting negative responses towards my ideas at every turn, I conceded.
But that was until December 2013, just before the ball dropped for 2014. I was fresh out of college for a few months, tired of my boring hair and in need of an aesthetic change. Still, my childhood stylist would only agree to gift me a long bob. But after doing a little shopping around for stylists, soon after, I was able to go from shoulder length strands to feeling the wind hit the back of my neck.
I haven’t looked or turned back since. I love being my baldy-locs self. I look forward to sitting in the chair and getting a shape-up of sorts to maintain my cropped cut. I enjoy not having my hair in my face or in the way. I’m happy…
But I just wish that my short hair didn’t invite those in my life to believe that dating will now be next to impossible for me. Even with style icons like Nia Long, Halle Berry, Lupita Nyong’o and even Keke Palmer rocking short strands and doing it in a fierce manner, my short hair is being touted as a reason why I’ll never get and keep a man.
Unfortunately, many don’t “get” why I chopped my hair off, and cousins shamelessly ask, “How do guys react to your hair being just as low as theirs is in the back? Are you even dating?”
It’s ludicrous to pin a lack of boyfriends on my lack of hair. The confidence I feel with my cropped ‘do is enough for me to attract the right people – including interested guys – into my circle. I haven’t picked up a new boyfriend because I haven’t had the time to even look for one. The hustle never ends. But if a short haircut is going to keep a guy from being interested in getting to know me better, it’s probably best that we don’t make a connection.
Despite celebrating women of all shades, sizes and hair lengths in various settings, some of us are still slaves to stereotypical standards of beauty, like the need for long hair to look feminine. But I won’t allow my hair to be used as something to explain why I didn’t land a particular job or date. Seriously, it’s just hair.
The right man, along with many other “right” facets of life, will fall into place when it’s time–much like the right hairstyle.
