Lose The List Of Requirements: What I Learned From Dating Outside Of My Comfort Zone

October 23, 2014  |  

The last year of my dating life has been full of unexpected moments. I’ve dated people I would have never given a shot in the past and had a lot of  “I-can’t-believe I-actually-like-him moments.” And it’s all because I stepped outside of what’s comfortable for me to experience something different.

The older most women get, the less fun dating becomes for us, mainly because we start narrowly seeking men who fulfill our required checklists. After all, after a certain age you feel as if you don’t have the time to waste on someone who doesn’t seem like they’ll be compatible with you. So you shun away the older man, the younger guy, the shorter dude, or the one who lives too far away. Why? Because you’re looking to get married and these guys aren’t what you’re used to. Because of that, you think the chances are slim that you may actually like them, let alone fall in love with them. Sadly, this way of thinking potentially prevents you from meeting some great guys who could possibly turn into love connections.

Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen if you date outside of your comfort zone? If you aren’t proven wrong, you’re t least proven right and can say that you tried.

My best experiences with love have happened when I tried something different, but you can’t just try it. No, you have to be open-minded when doing it. I’ve dated plenty of men who fulfilled my subconscious checklist, but they ended up not being compatible when it came to chemistry. And trust me, chemistry is more important than any height, bank account or age requirement.

Recently, when I decided to forgo the norm, I started dating someone much different from my past prospects, and the chemistry is indescribable. The rational and overly cautious part of me won’t allow me to accept that it’s working out well despite the many things that don’t fulfill my usual dating requirements. But the other side of me is simply allowing things to just be.  If it had been a couple of years ago, this great catch of a guy would have never been given the time of day because my dating life was governed by a list of predetermined requirements.

To be clear, this is not an article about lowering your standards or even a fool-proof way cto find your Mr. Right. It’s only a testimony of what can happen when you open your mind and date outside of your comfort zone. You can actually meet some good men, go out on fun dates, and have some amazing experiences. If you’re lucky, you may just meet the man of your dreams. The thing is, you will never know unless you try.

Ladies, have you tried to date outside of your comfort zone? How was the experience?

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