Now we’re fresh out of ideas if your man is Charlie Sheen, but if you have an otherwise-chill man who’s freaking out over a lost job, business deal gone bad, issues with his family, a bad day – or what have you, here’s how to calm him down, soothe him, and at least not make the situation worse.
1) Keep questions open-ended
If you’re going to soothe the guy, please don’t bombard him with questions that aggravate the situation, e.g. pressure-filled questions, like: “so are you going to be able to pay for my shoes and the rent now?” Just keep the majority of questions open-ended and simple, e.g. “what can I do to help?”
2) Don’t intensify the situation with blame
Sometimes your man is actually to blame for a situation gone wrong, and you know you want to tell his behind that you “told him so.” You still can, if you’d like, but if you’re trying to soothe him in the heat of the moment, pause the blame game.
3) Listen to understand, not to respond
Hello? Are you listening to me? Yes, it would seem like men are the ones who need to be asked that question, but sometimes, women aren’t really listening to a guy’s pain – especially when he miraculously opens up to share it. If your guy is talking to you about an issue that hurts, please don’t have a smart answer just ready for whatever he’s going to say. Actually listen and respond according to what he has just said, not what you want to say.
4) Touch while listening
Touch is a great soother, as you know, and we’re not just talking about sex (although that’s a fine additive to the soothing process). Hug him, touch his forehead as if you’re taking his temperature, kiss his neck, and massage his hand every once in a while as he’s sharing his freak-out moments with you.
5) Remind him why he’s the man
Aaaand, for some reason, this tactic works effectively. No matter what happens to dishevel your boo, you can always find qualities that make him better than the worst thing that ever happened to him. Reminding him why he will prevail (i.e. what specifically about him will make him prevail), and just why he’s “the man” will work wonders in his healing process.
