Dating With No Expectations

February 28, 2011  |  

Single life is often seen one-dimensionally. One would think being single is equivalent to a sentence on death row the way society views single women as the spinster curled up on the couch in a robe and rollers every Friday night. The world forgets the benefits of the single woman’s life- being able to date freely without a care in the world. Hopefully, more and more women are enjoying the world of carefree dating while waiting on love.

Women are reared to find a husband and have babies. Dating a number of men at one time are grounds to get you thrown in the floozy category thanks to patriarchy. Bachelors on the other hand are given props for their refusal to commit. They are encouraged to remain single as long as they can. When they do finally settle down it is viewed as if he’s doing a woman a favor by taking her off the market. It’s high time women define their own singleness by stepping away from the confinements of what society considers acceptable.

When I was single there were times I hated dating, and other times I loved it. My outlook largely depended on where I was at in my life at the moment. In hindsight, I realized the periods I hated dating was based on my perspective. Instead of having fun, enjoying getting to know someone without any expectations, I was thinking, ‘where is this going to go?’ with every single guy I met. Big mistake. As women we tend to look at the long-term end goal instead of just living in the moment.

Go on a date without even thinking about if he’ll call tomorrow. If you hit it off great, if not, that’s cool too. Every guy you date is not supposed to be your boyfriend. If you are dating a number of guys anyway, there is no pressure for any of them to be “The One.”

I will admit, dating can be tiring with all the getting to know someone phase and trying to weed out the genuine from the jerks. But your perspective on dating makes all the difference in the world. If you don’t expect much, dating becomes less of a hassle. And I’m inclined to say you get much more out of your dating experiences when looking for less. You may end up with a guy you hope never calls you again, a lifelong friend, a business connect or eventually a partner. That’s the joy of it all- the possibilities are endless.

I’m not advocating for women to sleep with every man she’s dating. Some people are under the impression dating equals sexing. Not at all. Then there is the question, “Well isn’t it wrong to be dating more than one man at a time?” I’m always startled by the belief it’s wrong when women do it, but when a man is single we damn near expect him to be humping dating a plethora of women. Here’s the thing: you are single! The whole point of being single is having the freedom to do as you please. As long as you’re not leading anyone on, lying or intentionally hurting anyone, do as you please.

Ladies, embrace being fabulous and single. One day you may reminisce on these very times with fond memories. Dating is all about what you make it. Now get out there and date! And as often as you want with whomever you want. It’s your world.

Trending on MadameNoire

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN