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Kenya: How do I get over being self conscious and wanting to date I’m overweight and in a wheelchair and have a disability

DY: I think the best option for you would be to pursue some sort of counseling/therapy to help you deal with your self-consciousness issues and whichever dating challenges your disability may present. If you don’t know of any, ask your doctor or another trusted adult in your life.

Brittany: My boyfriend seems to be really discouraged after being laid off. How do I keep him motivated to find a job without being too pushy?


DY: As many know and are currently experiencing, getting laid off can be very painful from a mental and emotional perspective. This is especially true for many men, who’ve been socialized to tie their self-worth into what they’re bringing to the table financially, and losing that income has sent some into deep depression.

My advice to you is to remind him that you love and need him. I’d also suggest to urge him to see a career counselor. Many of them come equipped with the type of resources needed to help people in your boyfriend’s situation. Snapping out of it is something he’ll have to figure out on his own, but he’ll need all the help he can get.

Syriak: I am a widow and have been now for five years. I find it extremely hard now that I’m in the dating game again. Some of the things men put down I have zero tolerance for, such as hitting, verbal abuse, drug abuse, and cheating to name a few. Everyone says I will never find a man because I am too uptight and they accuse me of comparing my men to my dead husband. This, I assure you is not the case!! What do you think am I asking for too much!!

DY: If not wanting a man who cheats, uses drugs, and abuses you is considered “uptight,” I wonder what these people would consider to be “normal.” Hannibal Lector? Marlo Stanfield? Columbus Short? (Too soon?)


Ronnisha: My fiancé and I are for the most part happy. He is infamous for making excuses. No matter how big or small, he is quick to snap back with an excuse. How can I really get it through his head that I cannot be with a man forever who always makes excuses? I just want him to man up and come clean when he does something wrong. He’s always been the one who has been right in past relationships, so I think it’s hard for him to admit things.

DY: Tell him exactly what you told me. That you love him, but can’t envision a future together if he always has an excuse for everything.


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