I’ve Made Him A Priority In My Life, But I Only Feel Like An Option In His

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Dating can be a fun yet complicated part of life. When you meet someone new or rekindle an old flame, it’s a refreshing and welcomed change for the both of you. As times goes on, you find yourself thinking about your new love interest more, calling and texting them frequently, and of course, you want to spend as much face-to-face time with them as you can. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to be with the one you desire as much as possible, it’s important to understand and realize that your newfound sweetheart may have a variety of priorities in their life… and at the present time, you may not be at the top of the list.

Being a priority in someone’s life is something that is earned with time, and not given automatically after a few dates and phone calls. So many times people, particularly women, have a hard time accepting that after a short time of casual dating (casual sex for others), we are not on our new mate’s list of top priorities. And although we have the tendency to make a man’s needs a priority in our daily routines, the harsh reality is that a man may not do the same thing right away.

So how does one deal with this?

By being genuine and sincere.

A man knows when a woman has his best interest at heart through her consistency and selflessness. If you’re striving to be a top priority in someone else’s life, you can’t be selfish with your own. Is this to say that you should neglect your own priorities? Absolutely not, but it is to say that you should be prepared to make a few sacrifices.

Understand that you are not the center of their world.

As much as you want to be the heart of your new boo’s day and night and have their undivided attention, you can’t always be all that, at least not in the beginning of a relationship. Why? Because you are still in the infant stages of the relationship and you must understand that your new mate had a life before you came into the picture. Know your place in your mate’s life from the start and you’ll end in a good spot.

Have your own priorities in place so you won’t lose yourself in theirs.

Many times, when we embark upon new love we have the tendency to get lost in it and place our own lives on the back burner. But I’ve learned that if you take care of your own business and remain focused on what needs to be done in your life, there won’t be a need for you to crave the other person’s attention so much.

Be patient with them and the process.

This is one of the most important steps in becoming a priority in someone’s life. Why? Because patience is key in any part of a relationship.

It is often said that you should not make a person a priority in your life who’s only making you an option. While this statement is true, I think the anonymous author failed to realize that being a priority in someone’s life is a privilege earned and not instantly given, and if you want someone to prioritize you, you must first realize that you are indeed an option until you’ve earned your place as a priority.

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin
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