Put That Homewrecker On Blast! Are Public Shaming Websites Taking It Too Far?

April 19, 2014  |  

While researching websites about dating for a potential article, I came across a site that I found particularly interesting – all dedicated to mistresses and side pieces appropriately titled ShesAHomeWrecker.com. I think I’d heard about a site like this before on The Bethenny Show, but never paid any attention to it until I was a click away from seeing it for myself.

Not surprisingly, the site was filled with horror stories from women scorned. These women had been cheated on by their men who romped around with random “b!tches”, their best friend or even a family member. Clearly these women were angry and distraught, and the “tricks” who were accomplices to the betrayal were now going to be the victims of the scorned woman’s wrath.

And I get it. When your heart has been broken, it’s easy to lose your mind…even if temporarily…and go after anyone in your path who had anything to do with that heartache. Most would argue that the majority, if not ALL, of the woman’s anger should be directed at her cheating boyfriend/husband. But some would say that if a woman KNOWINGLY cheated with a married or taken man, she should feel some of the heat too. And I can’t say that I disagree with that completely.

However, is public shaming taking revenge just a bit too far? After all, you can list a woman’s full name and address on this site – all anonymously – and give the sordid details of the affair for all to judge. While some might say the cheating Jezebel deserves to be put on blast, others feel that such actions teeter on the line of slander and can land you in hot water legally if you’re not careful. And even if legal action isn’t probable, one simple Google search by a potential employer, for example, could ruin the alleged cheater’s chances of getting a job – so is that a fair punishment? Does that fit the crime?

If you’ve been betrayed by a family member or friend and the infidelity can be proven and slander isn’t an issue, then one could say that putting her name, address, phone number and photograph on-line  is the perfect way to get back at the woman who betrayed you. After all, she’s not just some random skank, she’s someone you expected to be loyal to you.

But if she’s some unsuspecting woman who was told a bunch of lies by your cheating man, then putting all her personal information on a “Scarlet Letter” type website might be a bit too much. Even if she knew he was married, it’s really not up to the other woman to make sure your man doesn’t stray. She holds no loyalty to you, and while it would be nice of her to consider your feelings, no woman is obligated to keep your man on a leash. After all, HE is the one who is supposed to be in the committed relationship – not her.

Nonetheless, sites like these are gaining in popularity and social media is making it very easy to “slut shame” any woman who is thinking of laying up with your man. Oh, and the men aren’t off the hook either. There IS a HesAHomeWrecker.com as well, so let’s not make this a woman thing. However, with over 250,000 “likes” on the She’s a Homewrecker Facebook page, it does seem that women seem to take offense more to the “other” woman more than men taking offense to the “other man.”

So what say you? Are public shaming sites taking things too far in the revenge department, or are sites like these simply a place for scorned men and women to vent? Are we letting cheating men and women off a little easy by going after the “other” person in the scenario – or are ALL parties to blame? Weigh in – something tells me that simply telling someone who’s been hurt by infidelity to simply “get over it” just isn’t enough anymore.

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