Surrogacy Blues: Should My Best Friend Sleep With My Husband So We Can Have A Baby?

March 18, 2014  |  


From Essence 

Dear Abiola,

I am only 33 and infertile. I had an ectopic pregnancy when I was a teen and now the doctors say I have poorly functioning fallopian tubes. I always said I would adopt but then I met my husband. He is such a good man and he really is everything to me. He is 40 with no kids and it’s important to him that he has his own “seeds.”

Neither one of us is financially rich but we are truly rich in the love we have with each other. My husband suggested that I ask my best childhood friend to be a surrogate. I was hesitant because she already had two kids but she said yes. She said that she would be happy to help me have my husband’s baby.

Here’s where it gets a little tricky. We both have good jobs working for the city but by the time you add in a mortgage, two cars and saving for a baby there’s not much left for doing the surrogate mother thing. Of course we’ll be paying food and medical expenses and stuff like that for my friend We’re thinking that my man and my best friend could get pregnant the old fashioned way. As far as I know, neither one of them is attracted to each other. My friend is a single mom so it’s all clear on her side.

Would it be the worst thing if my friend and my husband have sex so I can give my man the family he always wanted?

Mommy Wants to Be

Read Abiola’s response at 

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