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The singles scene isn’t always an easy one for a shy girl. I don’t just mean a soft-spoken one, or someone who is comfortable being quiet. I mean a girl who is uncomfortable around new people! Here are 14 annoying things shy girls have to face on the single scene.
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The out-shining friend
Even if she doesn’t mean to, even if she doesn’t notice she’s doing it, shy girls all have friends who will drunkenly bulldoze their conversation with a guy. Just when things are going well, your loud, outspoken, confident friend comes in, throws an arm around you, says something she means to be nice but comes off demeaning like, “Isn’t my friend adorable?” and steals the show.
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The friend who tries to set you up but takes the guy
Again, your friend doesn’t mean to steal the show, but she has a show-stealing nature. Shy girls’ friends are constantly trying to set them up, via going up to a guy at a bar and saying, “You see my friend over there? She thinks you’re hot.” But, before you know it, that well-meaning friend and that guy are hitting it off.
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Being handed an extra shot
Drunk guys love to “accidentally” buy too many shots as a means to talk to women, and just pass off the extras to whatever cuties are standing by. Shy girls have no idea what to do when handed this shot. The next move is supposed to be their’s: they’re supposed to now go make conversation with the guys because they gave them a shot. But, instead, shy girls tend to politely take it, say thank you, and walk away. Just giving a shy girl an “in” to flirt is not enough. That’s not fun: that’s an assignment.
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The random dance partner
This can actually be a fun way to be approached by a man: a fun-loving guy dances up to you, grabs your hands, and pulls you on the dance floor. He’s not touchy or trying to grind on you: he just wants to help you have a good time. But for shy girls, these guys are a nightmare. That’s 5 to 20 minutes of avoiding eye contact! And trying to make conversation under funny circumstances, when it’s already hard enough just standing at the bar and talk.
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Missing the hint
Shy girls would never go so far as to presume a guy is asking for their number. Even if he says, “That’s funny. I don’t have your phone number” or “If only there was some way I could contact you…” Unless he straight up asks for it, shy girls will just laugh and say, “Oh yeah, if only there were!” Again, men, pick up the hint when dealing with a shy girl, spare her the anxiety, and just ask for the number.
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Terror of being the first to arrive
When you’re shy, being the first to arrive at a bar for drinks with friends is the scariest thing possible. You refuse, refuse, refuse to do it. If you see your friend isn’t there, you step outside or wait in the bathroom until she arrives. But that’s a shame because when you’re sitting alone, that’s the best time to be approached!
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The girls on the bar get all the attention
Face it: if you’re a shy girl and there are ten girls dancing on the bar, taking shots out of one another’s mouths and pouring drinks over the crowd, you don’t stand a chance. You may as well call it a night if you’re not willing to get up there, too.
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The bright dress turns heads
Shy women usually lack the confidence to wear a “Look at me!” outfit. But they will wear cute, flattering outfits. That doesn’t matter though when there is that one girl at the bar who is wearing a neon, fringed mini dress that turns every head in the place. And suddenly, the shy girl’s admittedly cute outfit just turned into a nun’s habit. Again, may as well call it a night.
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Being passed off to the shy friend
For every shy girl who gets left in the dust when her outgoing friend meets a guy, is a shy guy, who was also just left by his friend who met the outgoing girl. Shy girls are always stuck with the less interesting man.
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Men assume you’re not interested
This is a shy girl’s biggest issue: men always read you as not interested! When really, you’re just frozen in terror wondering how he is analyzing you or sizing you up! And, in a more relaxed environment, you would be able to show you’re totally interested.
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Men assume you’re not interesting
What’s worse is that, because shy women are hesitant to talk about themselves, men will often think they’re just boring! When in reality, shy women just aren’t going to yell over a crowd in a bar, when they’re barely comfortable opening up at normal volumes.
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Being at the back of the line
Shy women wait hours to get into a club, while the outgoing ones (the ones in the neon fringed mini dresses who will be dancing on the bar) go right in. By the time the shy ones get in, all the good men are taken.
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Predators
There are certainly men who look for shy women, but they’re not the men anyone would want. They’re the guys who prey on a woman they know is afraid to say “no” or be rude. They lock a poor, shy woman who’s been abandoned by her friend into conversation, and eventually into handing over her number, and eventually into a date.
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You’re not into publicly making out
Shy women will not make out in front of hundreds of strangers at a bar with a guy they just met. However, plenty of perfectly nice guys get caught up in the moment and want to kiss a girl they’re into at a bar! And when a shy girl says no, it does irreparable damage to the guy’s ego (even if she was interested) and he backs off completely.
