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Being the meanest person in the room used to be a point of shame

Today, people are wearing “a**hole”, “b*tch”, “jerk” and “rude” like it’s an Eagle Scout badge of honor.

When did rude become the new black? Something everyone tried to squeeze into, look good doing, and wear everywhere they went?

I get it. In a society that tells you to do this and do that to be accepted, it’s often a turn of rebellion to be fresh out of f*cks to give about what others say and who they want you to be. But we’ve allowed speaking our mind and not holding back as an excuse to be tactless.

In the quest to be different, unbothered, and self-aware, we’ve turned into monsters. Instead of being tough we are tyrants. Instead of just being assertive we are self-proclaimed a-holes ready to rip apart anyone that comes our way. Our defense mechanisms grow claws and begin to tear away at everyone around us. Instead of creating power houses we create pitiful towers to our own assumed excellence at the expense of others.

You only win being the villain for so long.

We brush off the feelings of others and continue to burst through life like a bull in a china shop – not caring what we destroy in the process. Others who don’t find our no holds-barred approach appealing are labeled sensitive. Maybe everyone isn’t sensitive; perhaps you are just a jerk. Maybe everyone doesn’t need to learn to accept this is just how you are when who you are is unbearable. Don’t mistake a few people that stick it out no matter what as an excuse for your behavior. Being tolerated and being loved are two different things.

When did we begin celebrating the best insult instead of celebrating those that actually uplift people? We start to look up to those people as pinnacles of power when really choosing to be rude over kind is a weakness. Being kind hearted or *gasp* nice doesn’t mean you become society’s doormat. It simply means that you know treating people well, speaking words of encouragement rather than insults or put-downs, and not strutting around like a mean-girl or rude-boy peacock is actually okay. There’s nothing wrong with being valued by a few instead of feared by many.

I can only hope that one day being a good person, a kind person, and a contribution to society rather than a selfish vacuum becomes the new norm.

Maybe nice will be the new black next season instead.

Dee Rene is the creator of Laugh.Cry.Cuss. . Subscribe to the blog and follow @laughcrycuss for more

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